


In Case of Emergency

by TeaGirl42



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Family Fluff, Friends to Lovers, emergency contact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-09 15:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19889905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaGirl42/pseuds/TeaGirl42
Summary: After Noah is injured at preschool his teacher cannot get in touch with his mom, so she calls on his back-up emergency contact - a very surprised Uncle Rafa!(M rating only applies to chapters 8 & 10)





	1. Who Would You Call?

**Author's Note:**

> Edited A/Ns: Inspired by motherbearof3's story Enchanted, when Olivia makes Rafael Noah's emergency contact at school after they became a couple....so I got to thinking if that could also be a fun starting point for their relationship.

Noah had moved into a new school with a teacher who was a little more conscientious when it came to paperwork, so when Olivia had turned up for the parent-teacher meeting and had the forms thrust towards her, her mind had gone blank.

She looked down at the form and the box requesting a second emergency contact and looked up at Ms Glenister. "I don't have any close family members, not that I'm in regular contact with…"

"It doesn't have to be family," Ms Glenister had assured her, "…just someone we can contact in an emergency if you're not available. Someone you would trust with Noah. As I like to say to parents who are unsure, if you were in trouble and needed help who would you call? That's usually the person that you should be writing down in that box."

Olivia looked at the box and nodded, she thought of her options. Fin...but they were usually together so what would be the point of that? Rollins...but she had Jessie to think about. Carisi, she smiled, she trusted him with her life…but that would feel a little weird. She couldn't put down Lucy, she had college...and it wouldn't be right to put this on her.

She really thought about what the teacher had said…

Who would she call if she were in trouble?

_Who would she want in her corner?_

Olivia smiled and immediately wrote down the first name she thought of, quickly including his contact details from memory and pushing the form across the table. She made a mental note to remember to talk to him about it later in the day, after her meeting with Dodds.  
(But of course, she had completely forgotten within minutes of leaving the office.)

"You missed a section," the teacher called over after they had exchanged pleasantries and Olivia was heading towards the door.

She looked back and raised her eyebrows.

"What name does Noah know him by? In case we ever do need to contact him, I wouldn't want to confuse the poor boy…" Ms Glenister smiled warmly.

Olivia nodded, "Uncle Rafa," she said with a smile.

* * *

Several weeks had passed and all thoughts of emergency contact forms had disappeared from Olivia's mind. Noah didn't get into trouble at school, she'd never been called in, and if she were she knew she would drop everything and be there herself.

That all changed one Thursday morning when she came in to find that Dodds had left a message on her phone asking her to accompany Fin to do some interviews at Rikers.

She rolled her eyes and opened her calendar to check that she was available. The timing was awkward, but not impossible. She was irritated by the message as she trusted Rollin and Carisi implicitly, but she also begrudgingly understood the request – this was a high profile case and Dodds wanted to make sure that everything was watertight.

* * *

At a little after 11 am, later that morning, Barba was sat working at his desk when Carmen buzzed through.

**"Mr Barba, you have East Goddard Pre-school on the phone…"**

Barba's eyes narrowed and he shook his head when he drew a blank. "Is this in relation to a case, Carmen?"

**"The caller says that you are an emergency contact for a child in their care, a Noah Porter-Benson - is that Lieutenant Benson's son?"**

Barba was immediately on alert and in spite of his shock at this new information quickly asked Carmen to put through the call.

**"Mr Rafael Barba?"**

"That's right, how can I help you? Is everything okay?"

**"Mr Barba, I'm so happy that I could get in touch with you. I'm afraid Noah has had a little accident at preschool today. Nothing too serious I hope, but he's banged his head pretty badly, and as it's a head wound he has lost quite a bit of blood. We've been trying to get hold of Ms Benson for a while but I'm afraid I had no choice but to contact you instead…"**

Barba was already standing and pulling on his jacket. "He's alert and conscious?"

**"Oh yes, Mr Barba – or I assure you that I would have called an ambulance. The bleeding has stopped and I've dressed the wound myself, but I would recommend that he be taken to a hospital…just for a check-up."**

"Okay, well I'm leaving the office now…would it be okay if I put you back through to my assistant? I'm not sure where you are, but if you give her the details she can send them on to me…"

**"That's no problem at all, Mr Barba. Noah's here with me, he's been a little upset but he seems much better now he knows that you're on your way. We'll see you soon."**

Barba closed a couple of files on his laptop, slid the computer into his bag, then grabbed a few files from the desk that he couldn't leave out and rushed through to the outer office just as Carmen put down the phone.

"I have all the details, I'll send them to your phone now…" Carmen assured her boss as soon as she saw him. "Everything okay?"

Barba nodded, "I think so, just a small accident at pre-school…they were having trouble contacting Lieutenant Benson."

"So they called _you?"_ Carmen asked, clearly a little surprised.

Barba was equally surprised but tried to sound nonchalant. "I guess it's always a good idea to keep a lawyer on speed-dial," he smiled weakly. "It's a quiet day so cancel all my meetings, no calls unless it's dire…if anyone asks just say that I've had a family emergency and I'll be out of the office until tomorrow."

Carmen nodded and smiled warmly. "I'm sure everything will be just fine, Mr Barba…kids get in scraps like this all the time."

Barba smiled, a little embarrassed that he must have given away how nervous he was, but he still nodded his thanks. "See you tomorrow, if nothing else comes in feel free to take off at 2."

_TBC..._


	2. Uncle Rafa is a Superhero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kind and encouraging comments - I think the first few chapters will be all Noah and Uncle Rafa, but I promise Olivia will get home from work eventually!

When Barba arrived at the preschool recess had started and several kids had already finished their food and were making their way out into their small playing yard. He had to weave and jump out of the way of several children, smiling with minimal patience when two boys almost took him out and shouted back. "Sorry, mister!"

His mind was still racing with a million questions as he was directed through to a small medical area near the front office, but when Barba pushed open the door all those questions vanished and he moved his entire focus onto Noah.

"Uncle Rafa! You came!"

The small boy rushed over and grabbed hold of his leg, so Barba automatically dropped down to hoist him up into his arms.

"Of course I came, mi amigo, how are you feeling?" He looked at Noah with concern and ran his free hand over his slightly damp hair.

"It hurts, Uncle Rafa…I hit my head," Noah said with a little pout and needlessly pointed at the dressing on the side of his forehead.

"How's he doing?" Barba asked who he presumed to be the teacher he'd spoken to on the phone.

Ms Glenister smiled warmly at Barba; clearly touched by the way Noah had responded to his arrival. "A little teary and emotional until you arrived, but _good._ I think he's fine but, as I said on the phone, I would recommend getting him checked out by a doctor…just to be safe."

Barba nodded and looked down at Noah, who was running his fingers up and down his tie. "What do you think, amigo? Are you happy to come with me while your momma is stuck at work? We can take you to see a doctor and then go and get some lunch…I bet you're hungry aren't you."

Noah smiled and then nodded seriously, "I _am_ hungry, it's been a long time since breakfast."

Barba smiled and then looked up at the teacher, "I'm okay to take him?"

The teacher nodded, "Of course, that's why we have your name. As we've never met I will need to see a photo ID first though, I hope you understand...it's just a formality."

Barba smiled and nodded, "Of course, you can't be too careful." He hoisted Noah up a little on his hip, took out his wallet and managed to push some ID out, he held it towards the teacher and she scanned it.

"Mr Barba, I've only just realised why you seem so familiar - I've seen you on the news, you're an ADA right?" Ms Glenister said, clearly impressed.

He smiled and nodded as he took back the wallet and put it in his pocket. "For my sins," he replied ruefully.

"Uncle Rafa is a superhero, just like Ironman…" Noah observed casually and rested his head on Barba's shoulder, his eyes drooping a little.

"A superhero, really?" The teacher asked with a broad smile.

"Yes…my momma catches the bad guys and Uncle Rafa is in charge of making sure they don't do anything bad again. I used to be scared of the dark at night, but momma said that I shouldn't need to be afraid because Uncle Rafa's job is to make sure everyone is safe…" he yawned and closed his eyes, "that's good, isn't it Ms?"

Barba looked simultaneously shocked and touched by Noah's words.

Ms Glenister looked a little emotional, a lot of kids she looked after thought that their parents were superheroes…but rarely _this_ literally. "That _is_ good, Noah. So now you have the light off at night?"

"Every night," Noah confirmed with a proud smile, his eyes still barely staying open.

Barba was still staggered by what Noah was saying but frowned a little when he watched the boys eyes close again.

"Has he been sleepy like this for long?" He checked cautiously.

Ms Glenister frowned with a little concern but then sighed. "He hasn't...but he has been pretty worked up. I've seen this a lot, they get into such a state and then when a family member arrives and they feel safe they just crash." She walked around and held the back of her hand to Noah's forehead. "He's not hot…I'd get him that check-up, but I genuinely think he's fine."

"Okay…" Barba smiled, touched that Noah felt safe with him and that the teacher had called him 'family'.

"Shall we go, amigo?" Barba asked the dozy little boy.

"Si, por favor," Noah replied and smiled up at him.

Barba looked up at the teacher, clearly surprised.

"We teach them a little. Noah is very good…he actually told me last week that he wanted to study hard so that his _Uncle Rafa_ would be proud," Ms Glenister shared, seeing that this would clearly mean a lot to Barba.

He smiled at Noah who still had his head on his shoulder but was looking up at him eagerly. "I'm _very_ proud, amigo, one day soon I bet your Spanish will be even better than mine!" He smiled at him and Noah bit his lip excitedly.

Barba looked over at Ms Glenister, "We're going to go, thanks for everything."

"That's my pleasure, Mr Barba. Maybe we'll see you again soon? We have our school show at the end of the term and I know Noah would be thrilled to see you there."

Barba looked down at the smiling boy and then nodded at the teacher. "Sure…we'll have to see…" He didn't feel right saying yes without talking to Olivia but was secretly pleased that the teacher had thought to mention it to him.

* * *

Once they left the office Barba carefully sat Noah down on a little wall.

"You sit still for me, amigo, I just need to call my friend…" Barba explained.

"You're calling Momma?" Noah asked and rubbed his eyes.

"No – I already called and left a message for your momma on the way over here. I'm calling an old friend of mine, he is a special doctor who looks after children. Ms Glenister said that it was important for you to see a doctor, but the hospital might be a little busy. Would you be happy to go visit my friend?" Barba asked. He had one hand on Noah's back to make sure he was safe, while he scrolled through his contacts and found the number.

"I'd like to see your friend, Uncle Rafa. Then can we get some food?"

Barba smiled, "Of course, doctor... _then_ food."

Noah nodded happily and then watched his Uncle Rafa make the call.

**_"Dr Matt Hollins…"_ **

"Matt, it's Rafael Barba."

 ** _"Barba! Lord, how long has it been?"_** Matt replied cheerfully.

Barba winced, realising that it must have been quite a while. "At _least_ four years, and now I'm calling and asking for a favor…"

Matt laughed warmly, **_"Hey, man, the phone lines work both ways. I've not been in touch either, life gets in the way... What can I do for you?"_**

"Thanks, Matt. A young friend of mine has had a little accident and banged his head at pre-school. I think he's fine, but I'd like to get him checked out, the hospitals will be busy and I wondered if…"

 ** _"…You could bring him in to see one of the best paediatricians in the city?"_** Matt finished off brightly. Barba could hear the smile in his old friend's voice.

"Would that be…?" Barba started to ask.

**_"Hey, if I didn't have time I would_ make _time. Although I do have half an hour in maybe…twenty minutes…think you guys could make that?"_**

"What do you think, amigo? Shall we get a taxi to go and see Dr Matt?" Barba looked down at Noah with a warm smile.

Noah nodded, "Yes please, Uncle Rafa!"

Barba could hear the surprise in his friend's voice when Matt said, **_"Uncle Rafa? Do I need to know more about this kid…or maybe some details about his mother?"_**

The ADA smirked and rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore the comment. "We'll be there soon, and thanks."

* * *

About twenty minutes later, Barba walked into Matt's private practice office carrying Noah in his arms. The little boy had his head resting on his shoulder and was humming a little tune whilst playing with the buttons on his jacket.

The receptionist had been expecting them and immediately showed them through.

When they arrived at his friend's office Matt made no attempt to hide how surprised he was by the tableau. He knew Barba to be a decent man, but on the rare occasions that he'd seen him with children, he'd seemed uncomfortable and _way_ out of his comfort zone.

"Hi, Matt, thanks for doing this…" Barba said genuinely.

Matt couldn't help but notice how relaxed and happy his old friend looked with the young boy in his arms, in spite of the circumstances.

"No problems, I'm happy to help…and _you_ must be Noah?" Matt said softly as he approached them both. "Do you want to come and sit on the couch with me so that we can have a chat about what has been happening this morning?"

"You're Uncle Rafa's friend?" Noah confirmed.

"I am. I'm a doctor and I want to check you out to make sure you're okay…are you happy with that?"

"I think so, Dr Matt. Uncle Rafa has said we're going for pizza afterwards," Noah said with a smile as Barba popped him on the couch and then sat down next to him.

Matt watched with interest as the little boy immediately climbed up onto Barba's lap.

"You can call me Matt, Noah. I'm going to ask you a couple of questions, then we're going to do a few tests…if that would be okay?"

He looked up at Barba and his friend nodded.

"His mother is stuck at work but I'm his emergency contact. I can promise you that Olivia won't have any problems with you treating Noah on my say so, but that is 100% on _me…_ " Barba assured.

Matt nodded, trusting his friend implicitly.

 _"Olivia…"_ Matt said with a small smile, his eyes telling his old friend that he needed to know more.

"That's my momma's name," Noah helpfully explained.

Matt smiled at Noah and nodded, "Well, we're going to give you an extra special friends and family super-duper checkup, that includes a special badge saying that you have been an extra brave soldier _and_ a lollipop. What do you think?"

Noah smiled, nodded and then looked up at Barba, "I _really_ like this doctor, Uncle Rafa, but I'm not going to get any shots… _right?"_

_TBC..._


	3. Special Friends

When Olivia finally got out of Rikers and plugged her phone into the car she was horrified to find seven missed calls from Noah's pre-school and three messages in her inbox.

She played the first one.

**_"Ms Benson – this is Ms Glenister at Noah's preschool. Noah is absolutely fine and I don't want you to panic…but he had a little accident at school this morning and has received quite a knock to the head. I repeat – he is doing just fine - but it would be great if you could give me a ring back on this number as soon as possible."_ **

Olivia hung up and checked the time of the message. She paled a little and looked over the top of their vehicle towards Fin.

"It's Noah – the preschool phoned me over four hours ago to tell me that he'd had an accident, something about banging his head," Olivia explained.

Fin walked around the car towards her and calmly directed, "I'll drive. You make the calls you need to make and then let me know where we need to go."

Olivia nodded gratefully and immediately hit CALL.

_**"Ms Glenister."** _

"Ms Glenister, this is Olivia Benson. I'm so sorry, I've been at Rikers Prison for work since this morning and my phone…"

The teacher cut her off quickly, **_"It's fine, Ms Benson. Noah's okay…he was picked up from school hours ago. He's probably at home watching TV already."_**

Olivia shook her head with confusion, "He was…? Wait, who picked him up?" She asked with a hint of panic in her voice.

**_"I called Mr Barba and he came to collect him immediately…at a little after 11:30. Noah had been a little bit upset and fussy, but as soon as he saw your friend he settled down and seemed just fine. I recommended that Noah should receive a medical check-up, just to be cautious…but I have no doubt they are currently enjoying an unscheduled boys day off."_ **

Olivia looked as shocked as she felt; she glanced over at Fin and then asked quietly. "I…I'd completely forgotten about the emergency contact form. Everything was…okay?"

**_"Everything was fine, Ms Benson. Your friend and Noah have quite a lovely bond…his presence genuinely settled Noah almost immediately. Even I felt a little emotional when he called Mr Barba a superhero."_ **

Olivia's eyes welled up immediately and when she glanced over at Fin she saw him looking concerned. She shook her head to assure him that everything was fine. "Thank you, Ms Glenister…and sorry again for the communication failure. I have two other messages on my phone that I didn't even wait to check, I just panicked and called you…but I think I know who they'll be from now."

"Almost certainly. You look after those men of yours and let me know when you think Noah will be ready to come back to school. Of course, I won't be expecting to see him for a few days at least."

Olivia suddenly realised that the teacher must have assumed that she and Barba were a couple – but right at that moment, she couldn't bring herself to correct her. "Thank you again, Ms Glenister, talk to you soon."

"What's goin' on?" Fin asked.

Olivia smiled and held up a finger to say 'wait a minute' while she played her other messages.

**_"Hi, Liv…it's Rafael. I just wanted to let you know that I received a call from his preschool to say that Noah has had a minor accident. I've just left work and I'll be there soon. I don't want you to worry, everything is under control and I'll be in touch as soon as I can give you more concrete information."_ **

Beep

**_"Hi, Liv…I've taken Noah for a check-up with an old friend of mine from college, one of the top paediatricians in the city. He's absolutely fine. He had a couple of small stitches and has a bit of a bump…but is otherwise completely healthy. I'm going to take him back to my office now as that is nearer for you when you get back into the city. Once again, don't worry we're doing okay. Aren't we, amigo?"_ **

Olivia heard the phone being passed over and then Noah's voice.

**_"Momma - Uncle Rafa took me to meet his friend, Dr Matt, and he gave me a lollipop. Then we got pizza, and Uncle Rafa bought me a new toy! My head hurts…but this has been fun! Maybe a could hit my head more often...?"_ **

She couldn't help but laugh when she heard Barba taking the phone back.

**_"I'll also explain to him that he doesn't need to cause himself physical injury in order to get pizza…"_** Barba said with what Olivia knew was a half-smirk.

She put her phone in her pocket and smiled over at Fin, "Don't worry, everything's fine. I'll phone and check in with Barba when we get back to the office."

"Barba?" Fin asked with confusion.

"Seems that _Uncle Rafa_ has everything under control…" Olivia said with a gentle smile while Fin's eyebrows almost hit the roof of the car.

* * *

Barba held onto Noah's hand as they walked through the foyer of the building and toward the elevators. He pressed the call button and waited.

"Barba, just the man I wanted to see - we need to talk about this damn deposition you've submitted for…"

"Uncle Rafa, the man said a bad word…" Noah said quietly with a frown on his face.

Buchanan hadn't even seen the young boy holding Barba's hand and had the decency to look a little abashed. "Sorry, Barba. I didn't realise you had a child with you…"

"Can this wait? I'm taking a personal day and I'm not even meant to be here…" Barba said sharply.

"You can't just brush me off because you have your nephew with you, we need to talk and…"

"I'll be in my office at 8:30 tomorrow morning - you meet me there and we can talk…but not now."

"Barba," Buchanan snapped.

Noah pulled on his hand and Barba glanced down to see him looking up at him tearfully. "Can we go now, Uncle Rafa? I don't like that man, he shouty."

Barba frowned at Buchannan and than picked Noah up and held him close. "Don't you worry, mijo, the man is sorry and he's going now…" he frowned up at the lawyer pointedly, "…aren't you?

Buchanan sighed, "8:30 am, your office."

"8:30," Barba confirmed firmly.

The doors opened and Barba stepped inside.

"Does that mean man work with you and momma?" Noah asked with an unimpressed stare. The big man made him a little nervous, but he felt invincible with his Uncle Rafa.

Barba smiled at the look on Buchanan's face.

"Only sometimes, amigo and only when we _really_ can't avoid it…"

The door closed on Buchanan's shocked expression and Barba smiled down at Noah. "You shouldn't say things like that to grown-ups though, it's important to have respect for your elders."

Noah nodded thoughtfully but then decided that he needed to check. "What are elders, Uncle Rafa?"

"Grown-ups, like me and your momma…" Barba explained.

Noah nodded again, assimilating this new information. "He wasn't very nice to you, Uncle Rafa, is he your friend?"

"We work together, but no he is not my friend…you know how you have some friends that you just see at preschool and other's who you also see outside of school, special friends?"

Noah thought about that for a minute as they entered Barba's office and then checked his understanding again. "So you and momma are special friends?"

Barba nodded, "Sure, amigo, your momma and I are special friends."

The young boy grinned broadly, clearly liking that idea. "My friend, Rosita…her momma had a special friend…then one day they got married and her momma's special friend became her daddy."

Barba's eyes widened and he tried to disguise the panic in his voice, "Well…it sounds like Rosita's momma and her special friend were very special friends and…well…"

His phone rang and Barba rushed to answer it, thanking his God and all other God's who might be listening in, for the timely distraction. He looked at the caller ID and smiled.

"Lieutenant Benson, we've been waiting for your call," He sat down on the couch and Noah climbed up to sit next to him and rest his head against his arm.

_**"Rafa, I'm so sorry…I had no idea…"**_ Olivia started to beg her apologies but Barba cut her off.

"We've been _fine,_ Liv. Noah is good, don't worry," He reassured.

**_"This must have messed up your day…"_** Olivia said apologetically.

"Hey, some things are more important – how long until you finish up?" Barba asked.

**_"Maybe a couple of hours…"_ **Olivia said regretfully. **_"Lucy should be finished at college by now if you want me to call her to step in?"_**

Barba shook his head needlessly and smiled down at his new best friend. "We're good, Liv. I've taken the day, and Noah seems happy…" he paused and looked down at Noah, "…you're happy to stay with me while momma finishes up at work aren't you?"

Noah grinned and held his little hand up for the phone, "Pllllllllllllease, Momma! I love Uncle Rafa, we could watch a movie…maybe even have ice cream!"

Barba couldn't help but get a little emotional at the young boy's enthusiasm, and at the other end of the line, Olivia was surprised to find herself wiping away a tear. _**"Okay, my sweet boy, you stay with your Uncle Rafa…how are you feeling? Are you feeling okay? No headaches?"**_

Noah shook his head dramatically as if to prove the point, "I feel good, Momma. Can I go now? Uncle Rafa said that he's going to read me the book we bought at the store."

Olivia laughed, **_"Sorry to have kept you both…"_**

"Bye, Momma!" Noah passed over the phone.

**_"Thank you, Rafa…for looking after my boy so well. There are no words to express how grateful I am,"_** Olivia said affectionately.

Barba smiled, "He's an easy boy to love…" he observed and ran his hand over Noah's hair.

The boys smiled up at him and Barba stuck his tongue out.

Olivia was surprised to feel tears in her eyes again. **_"Listen, why don't you take him back to ours…it's more comfortable there and Noah has all his things."_**

"How would we get in?" Barba asked.

**_"Come by here, I'll give you my keys…you can go home, put your feet up. Are you okay to do bedtime?"_ **

Barba shrugged, "I put myself to bed just fine...how complicated can it be? I'm sure we'll figure it out."

**_"You really are a superhero, Rafael Barba,"_ **Olivia said softly.

Barba was speechless for a second but then decided not to comment. "You're okay with Noah and I coming to get the keys? With everyone knowing he's with me?"

Olivia laughed, **_"Why would that matter? Everyone knows that we're friends, Rafa…and Fin already knows that you have him, he was driving when I was having my meltdown."_**

"Oh, so you did panic?" Barba observed with a smile.

**_"Only until I found out he was with you…"_** Olivia confirmed.

* * *

Barba was not going to lie, he felt the awkwardness of every pair of eyes in the station on him as he walked the familiar route up to the SVU unit.

Noah sat obliviously in his arms, holding firmly to his new book and Ironman figure.

These guys didn't miss a thing and the peculiar sight of ADA Barba walking through the station with a small child snuggled up close to him did not go unnoticed… _especially_ to those who recognised the said child to be Lieutenant Benson's kid.

He did the final walk through the SVU unit and was relieved to arrive at Olivia's office.

He knocked lightly and then immediately opened the door.

Olivia looked up at them both and a broad smile spread across her face. The sight of her boy nestled so comfortably in her friend's arms caused her heart to skip a beat.

"How are my _two_ favourite men?" Olivia asked as she stood and walked towards them.

Barba smiled with surprise at the greeting and passed Noah over to Olivia. Their hands brushed slightly during the exchange and both of them pretended not to notice the way their body reacted to the short contact.

"Uncle Rafa said that I might have _two_ less brain cells…" Noah grinned up at his momma happily.

"Oh, he did, did he? Well, you know what, I'm sure they'll grow back by Sunday..." Olivia reassured him, looking at the stitches and trying not to react.

Barba saw her concern and smiled warmly, "He really is okay…my friend Matt sorted him out, he got the five-star treatment."

"And a lollipop!" Noah added with a smile.

"If I owe you…" Olivia started to say as she ran her finger over a colourful sticker on Noah's jacket that said 'I was brave today' and featured a cat with a bandaid on its head.

Barba shook his head quickly, "Don't be silly, none of that."

"And what's all this?" She looked at the book and toy that her son was holding on to so tightly.

"Uncle Rafa took me to the toy shop on the way home from visiting Dr Matt," he grinned and held out the Ironman toy so dramatically that he very nearly hit Olivia on her nose. "It's Ironman!" He explained excitedly.

Olivia gave Barba a look that said they would circle back around to this at a later point.

He smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Right," Olivia took a set of keys out of her pocket and handed them to her friend. "All the keys are there, help yourself to anything and make yourself completely at home."

"You're sure you don't mind?" Barba looked at the keys awkwardly.

"You'll find it easier to entertain yourselves at home with his toys…" Olivia pointed out.

"But to just hand over the keys to your home…"

"I trust you with my son, why on earth wouldn't that trust extend to my apartment?"

Barba chuckled, "Well, when you put it like that…"

She passed her son back over to him, their hands touched again but this time Olivia held on to his fingers for a second and smiled. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Rafael…I hope you know that."

He looked a little shocked but squeezed her hand lightly before securing his grip on Noah. "Ditto," he replied quietly.

Olivia smiled and their eyes remained linked for a few seconds.

"Rosita said that her momma's special friend is called Alex, but now she calls him Daddy…" Noah observed from his spot on Barba's hip.

Olivia looked bemused by the sudden shift in conversation and then completely baffled by the look of stone-cold horror on Barba's face.

"That's nice, Noah," Olivia said and looked at Barba with an expression that could only be translated to mean, 'WTF?'.

"Noah was telling me about some of his friends from preschool…" he explained clumsily.

"That's nice…" Olivia laughed at them both and shrugged, she guessed she was out of the loop on this one.

"You boys get home, the sooner I get back to work the sooner I can leave…" Olivia said, jokingly shoeing them towards the door. She suddenly found herself desperately wanting to finish up so that she could get home and be a part of…she looked between her friend and her son…whatever this was.

"I think we're dismissed, amigo," Barba said with a smile, thankful that the conversation had moved away from whatever Noah had got lodged in his head about 'special friends'.

"I'll see you both later." Olivia paused and looked at Barba cautiously, "You can stay for a while? After Noah has gone to bed?"

"Sure, I mean depending on what time you eventually get home. I have to be in work first thing for a meeting with Buchanan, but…"

Noah pulled a face, "Uncle Rafa said that it's important to…" he thought for a second and then remembered, "…respect my elders - but I didn't like him, Momma, he wasn't very nice to Uncle Rafa and he has a really loud voice."

"He raised his voice to you around Noah?" Olivia asked Barba.

"I shouldn't have taken him to the office," Barba started.

"Don't put that on yourself, Rafa, I can't believe he…" Olivia started to contend – she was controlling her anger, but Barba could see she was furious. "Did he scare you, my sweet boy?" She asked Noah gently.

Noah shook his head, "I didn't like him because he was mean…but I knew that I didn't need to be scared because Uncle Rafa was with me. He keeps people safe, doesn't he, Momma?"

Olivia's anger melted away at her son's words and the look of awkwardness on her friend's face. "You're right, sweetheart…of course, you are."

_TBC..._


	4. Goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a short one...but there might be another chapter before the end of the day!

Later that evening, Barba's thought's briefly drifted to how much work he would have to do tomorrow as he helped Noah to pull on his pyjama top, but then he shook his head and forced himself to be fully present for his young friend.

"Will you be staying with me tomorrow, Uncle Rafa?" Noah asked as he crawled up into bed and under his covers.

"I have to work tomorrow, mi poco amigo." He saw the sad expression on Noah's face, "Maybe after work? I could talk to your momma about stopping in for a visit? See how that head is?"

"You could visit in the morning as well?" Noah suggested helpfully.

"I'm afraid I have to be in work quite early in the morning…" Barba explained.

Noah nodded despondently, "I guess you have a lot of other people who need your help, Uncle Rafa. I understand."

Barba winced a little and shook his head, "I do…but none of those people are as important to me as making sure that you are okay. You know that right?"

Noah brightened, "Really?"

_"Really._ But you heard me promise to meet that man at work tomorrow morning and I know your momma has told you how important it is to keep promises…"

Noah sighed with a reluctantly accepting expression so like his mother that Barba couldn't help but smile.

"But I will see you tomorrow night after you finish work?" Noah checked.

"I promise. Now, what about that story?" Barba said and reached for their book.

"When Rosita, her momma and her new daddy all moved in together that meant that she saw him every single morning and every single night before bed. Sometimes they even do bedtime stories together. Then last month they went to Adventureland and her new daddy got her a teddy bear that is almost as big as her! She liked the teddy a lot, Uncle Rafa, but I think she likes her new daddy even more."

Barba smiled a little nervously and nodded, "That sounds lovely, Noah. So, about this story…"

"As you and momma are _special friends_ maybe one day we could all live together and then I would get to see you every morning as well?" Noah smiled enthusiastically at his very helpful suggestion and Barba looked pained.

"I think Rosita's momma and her new daddy were a very different kind of 'special friends', amigo," Barba tried to explain uncomfortably.

"How?" Noah asked. He thought his suggestion seemed very sensible, but adults always seemed to be making things very complicated.

Barba smiled gently and tried to hide his inner panic. "So…I think you said your friend's momma married her new daddy. Am I right?"

Noah nodded thoughtfully, "She wore a pretty dress. Rosita had some time off and then when she got back Ms Glenister showed us all some pictures."

"That's right. Getting married is what two people do when they love each other very much. It's a super special kind of love that is different to the 'special friends' that we were talking about earlier," Barba tried to fumble his way through, however, he couldn't help but feel that if his witnesses handled lines of questioning this well in court he'd never win a case.

"But Rosita said that her momma and her new daddy were special friends, Uncle Rafa," Noah tried to explain.

"And maybe they were, but do you understand that sometimes special friendships can grow and change into something new?"

"So…" Noah seriously considered his options; "…we just need to wait for you and momma to change into something new? Like the sunflowers that we planted at school?"

"Some people will _always_ remain special friends, little man…" Barba clarified.

"So you don't…" his eyes welled up a little, "…you don't love my momma?"

Not really knowing what to say to that Barba shook his head quickly and ran his hand over the little boy's head, "Of course I love your momma, Noah…but these are complicated grown-up conversations. Do you understand?"

Noah nodded, feeling a little better. He had already decided that he very much liked the idea of Uncle Rafa becoming his daddy, but he had a feeling this might be something that he should discuss with momma first. He smiled, "Okay, Uncle Rafa, I think I understand…we'll have our story now?"

Barba felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders and he nodded immediately. "Sounds good, are you ready? You know, this was one of my favourites when I was your age…" He opened the book.

Noah looked surprised and happy, then prepared himself to listen attentively.

Barba smiled a little at the picture on the first page and then started to read,

_**"Here is Edward Bear, coming down the stairs now,  
** **bump bump bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin…"**_

* * *

When Olivia came home that evening she found Barba dozing on her couch and smiled. She'd never seen him sleeping; he looked so peaceful and relaxed.

She carefully put her bag on the floor near his feet and then quietly walked through to Noah's room.

The boy was sleeping peacefully; his bear (now wearing the cat sticker) was wrapped in one arm and his new Ironman figure wrapped tightly in the other. She could see that his hair had been washed and a clean dressing had been carefully put on her son's wound.

Wonders never ceased with Rafael Barba, she thought with a warm smile as she reached out to gently touch the boys head.

He stirred a little and opened his eyes, "Momma, you're home?" Noah smiled weakly and then closed his eyes again.

"I am, sweet boy, but you go back to sleep…I'm sorry I woke you."

Noah's eyes remained closed, "Is Uncle Rafa still here?"

Olivia smiled, "He's just outside, baby, you know he fell asleep just like you? You must have both had a long day, hey?"

The little boy rolled over and snuggled against his pillow, clearly on the edge of sleep again. "I really like Uncle Rafa, Momma…can we keep him?"

Olivia looked surprised and didn't really know what her son meant, but she could see he was already sleeping again so kissed his head softly before walking back out to see her friend.

* * *

When Olivia got back into the living area she looked at the time and then moved her gaze back down toward the ADA. She couldn't deny that she had always found Rafael Barba extremely attractive, but she rarely had such an unguarded opportunity to just _look_ at him.

Sitting down on the arm of her couch she slipped the book he had been reading out of his hands and smiled, this must have been the book he'd bought for Noah. She found it completely endearing that he'd obviously waited until her son fell asleep and then walked out here and carried on reading.

**What was a Heffalump like?  
** **Was it Fierce?  
** **Did it come when you whistled? And how did it come?  
** **Was it Fond of Pigs at all?  
** **If it was Fond of Pigs, did it make any difference what sort of Pig?  
** **Supposing it was Fierce with Pigs, would it make any difference if the Pig had a grandfather called TRESPASSERS WILLIAM?  
** **He didn't know the answer to any of these questions... and he was going to see his first Heffalump in about an hour from now!**

Olivia smiled down at Barba and found herself reaching out to touch the side of his face.

He murmured and stirred, then slowly blinked open his eyes. Seeing his friend sitting above him looking at him with a warm smile Barba rushed to sit up.

"I'm sorry, I must have dropped off to sleep…" He smiled sheepishly, clearly uncharacteristically embarrassed.

Olivia nodded at the book in her hand, "That's understandable, you have some pretty heavy reading here."

He smirked, "I haven't read that since I was a kid…just revisiting some of the more positive elements of my youth."

She smiled a little sadly; neither of them had received the childhoods that they had deserved.

"Live up to your memories?" Olivia asked as she moved off the arm to sit in the space next to him.

He nodded, "For a bear of very little brain Pooh makes some _extremely_ valid points."

Olivia laughed, "Maybe I'll have to borrow it after Noah has finished..."

"I promised to come back tomorrow night if you don't mind? Maybe I could read him the next chapter?" Barba suggested.

"You don't have to feel obliged," Olivia started to reassure her friend. "We could tell him you had a case and…"

"I'd actually really like to, that is if you don't mind?" Barba asked self-consciously.

Olivia was aware that she knew a different side to her friend than he often chose to share with the world, but she was shocked and more than a little touched by this. "I mean, sure…if that's what you want…I know Noah would be thrilled."

He looked over at the time. "I should be going really, it's already later than I intended and I have to do some work before I see Buchanan about this deposition in the morning."

She nodded, a little sad that the conversation had moved back into more professional territory. "Sorry I was later than I intended."

"I'm not rushing off, I just…"

"I know, work calls…" Olivia smiled, genuinely understanding. "Thank you again for everything today, Rafa."

Barba nodded and stood, "Maybe tomorrow we could talk? After Noah goes to sleep?" He pulled on his jacket and picked up his bag. "I had no idea about this emergency contact situation, it came completely out of left-field."

Olivia winced, "I'm sorry, I just…"

"Hey, I'm not annoyed, I just think…"

"We should talk - tomorrow," Olivia agreed.

He walked to the door and then smiled back over his shoulder. "You know, I'm sorry Noah was hurt…but in spite of everything I've had a pretty good day."

She smiled at her friend and nodded before he slipped out of her door and was gone.

It was funny, she'd hardly seen him all day…but her apartment suddenly felt a little empty.

_TBC..._


	5. How Do You Make A Daddy?

Noah watched his momma very seriously over breakfast the next morning. He took a big bite of his toast while he thought about what he needed to understand.

Finally, when Olivia moved to sit near him at the breakfast counter he put down his toast and began. "Momma, can I ask you an important question?"

Olivia heard her son's unusually serious tone and turned to look at him. "You can ask me anything, Noah, you know that."

Noah nodded, "How do you make a daddy?"

Her brain jarred at the unexpected question and tried to make sense of what she was being asked. "How do you…(?) What do you mean, Noah? I'm sorry, I'm not sure that I entirely understand your question."

Noah thought for a second and then tried to clarify. "I mean if I don't have a daddy…but I would _like_ one…how do I do that?"

Olivia's heart broke at the little boy's question. She knew what it was like not to have a father growing up but she'd never realised how much this bothered him.

"Noah, I'm not sure what to say to you. You know, when I was growing up I didn't have a daddy either, and I know that you must see your friends with their daddies and feel different…but families are made up of all sorts of different people. You never need to feel sad because…"

Noah shook his head; "We talked about that at school, Momma. I'm not sad because I don't have a daddy…"

"I'm not sure I understand…" Olivia was baffled and felt like she was driving into completely uncharted territory.

Noah thought again, "Momma, what if I have found somebody who I would like to be my daddy? I want to know _how_ I can do that..."

Olivia's mouth fell open and then her mind went back to the day before and her eyes filled with tears.

"Don't be sad, I still want you to be my momma. When Rosita got her new daddy her momma told her that she was very very happy and that their family was now complete. Wouldn't you like that too, Momma? I would like you to be very very happy as well…" Noah smiled encouragingly, clearly deciding that he had this plan all sorted.

"Oh, my sweet boy…" Olivia said, trying to push down her tears and not sound like she was about to burst out crying. "Are you talking about your Uncle Rafa? Do you want him to be your daddy?"

Noah nodded, "I really like Uncle Rafa - he makes me laugh, takes care of me when I feel poorly and tells really good bedtime stories about bears and honey…" He suddenly broke his train of thought and looked down at his toast. "Momma, do _we_ have any honey for my toast?"

Olivia laughed, sounding almost borderline hysterical, but then stood to get some honey out of the cupboard.

"Noah, I _really_ don't think…" Olivia started to explain.

"I thought about asking Santa, but I think Christmas is a long time to wait for a new daddy…don't you think, Momma?" Noah observed and stuck out his tongue a little as he focused on getting some honey onto his toast.

"I…" Olivia shook her head speechlessly. She was completely thrown and had _no_ idea what to say.

"I asked Uncle Rafa, but…"

"You spoke to Uncle Rafa about this?" Olivia asked with a pained expression. She suddenly felt a little sick, motherhood was so…complicated.

"Mmmm…" Noah said thoughtfully. "He told me that sometimes special friends love each other very much and then they become a family…but that doesn't always happen. When we planted our sunflowers at school two of them didn't grow at all. Is that what Uncle Rafa meant?"

Olivia nodded distractedly and took a sip of her coffee – she glanced over at the nearby pot and was already thinking that she was going to need a lot more than normal this morning.

She took a deep breath and started to try again. "I think maybe…"

"But that's okay...because I checked and love is the most important thing…and Uncle Rafa definitely said that…so I think…" Noah was pondering his next plan out loud but then he jumped when he noticed that his momma had moved to the other side of the breakfast counter and had now dropped her drink on the floor and made a big bang. "Momma, you made a mess…"

Olivia looked up at her son, her eyes wide with shock, "He said what?"

"Momma, you spilt your drink on the floor and broke your cup…" Noah craned around to look at the mess, completely confused at how his momma seemed not to have even noticed.

"What did Uncle Rafa say to you about love, Noah?" Olivia asked softly as she walked back around to sit next to her son again.

Noah looked at his mother's blue jeans and frowned. "Momma, you have coffee on your pants…" He pointed out helpfully.

"I'll change them in a minute, sweet boy," she was surprised to find that her heart was racing a little, "…can you remember what your Uncle Rafa said last night? About love…"

Noah thought carefully, "He said…that special friends can become family when they have a _special_ kind of love..." he repeated.

"And what did he say about me?" Olivia clarified, hating that she was trying to get information out of her son, but unable to stop herself.

"I was sad because I thought that maybe he didn't love you in a way that could make us become a family. Uncle Rafa promised that he did…but said this was an important grown-up conversation." Noah felt like something he had said might have upset his momma and his bottom lip wobbled a little. "Did I say something bad?"

Olivia was trying to process what her son had said but then rushed to reassure him. "Everything is fine, sweetheart, but I think Uncle Rafa is right. This is definitely a conversation for grown-ups. Is that okay?"

Noah sighed a little sadly but nodded, "I guess, Momma…but by the time I'm a grown-up I think it might be too late to make Uncle Rafa my daddy."

Olivia laughed genuinely now and rolled her eyes as she walked back around to clear up the mess. "Finish your breakfast, I have the whole day off today and if you're good I was thinking we might go to Adventureland."

Noah took a bite of his toast and then shook his head, "Momma can we go to the park?"

His mother looked shocked, "Noah, you've been all but _begging_ me to take you to that theme park for weeks!"

He smiled and shrugged, "I think maybe I'd like to wait a while…"

* * *

Olivia was still reeling from what Noah had said six hours later when she stood pushing Noah on a swing at the park. She knew better than most that children could cherry-pick parts of conversations in order to focus on what they wanted to hear - much like adults - but it was clear that Rafael and Noah had had a very significant conversation.

Her mind drifted as she thought of Rafael Barba. She had become the Queen of compartmentalising her life over the last few years. There was work, there was Noah, there was the little family that overlapped between the two…and then there was Barba, who seemed to be completely woven into every area of her life. Sure they'd had their problems but he was her rock, her sounding board and someone that she could always rely on.

Seeing him with Noah yesterday had cast him in a whole new light – suddenly he was more than a friendship that she didn't want to mess up, and more than an attractive man that she had conveniently placed in the friend-zone in order to avoid complicating her life.

Could he really be what Noah needed him to be as well?

She was shaken out of her reverie when she felt Noah tug on her jacket.

_"Momma!"_

Olivia looked down at his smiling face. "Sorry, sweetheart, what did you want?"

Noah laughed and shook his head at his funny momma, "Your phone is ringing!"

She was startled into action and reached into her pocket. Looking at the caller ID she smiled and then brought the phone to her ear. "I was just thinking about you," she said with a candour that actually surprised herself.

The line was quiet for a moment and then finally Barba's voice replied uneasily, "Is that a good thing? Or am I in trouble?"

Olivia winced a mentally kicked herself for being so forthright, then she rolled her eyes and wondered when she suddenly started questioning every word that she said to Rafael Barba…and analysing every word that he said to her.

She looked down at Noah, "You wait for me here for a second, I'll just be over there and I'll be watching you the whole time."

Noah nodded.

"Neither," She said as lightly as possible as she walked out of earshot of her son. Then she half lied, "I just remembered that you said you would come over tonight."

"Actually, the case settled…so I was calling to see if you wanted me to catch up with Noah a little earlier than we'd planned? I know you have your own case to wrap up, I could take him for a couple of hours this afternoon?"

Olivia smiled, "You had him all day yesterday and now you're volunteering to take him again today? Who are you, and what have you done with _my_ Rafael Barba?"

Barba laughed softly, "I'll have you know that Noah and I were just fine yesterday. I have a little time, is it _so_ out of character for me to want to help my friend?"

She smiled and shook her head, "Never _that,_ Rafael."

"Look if you'd rather spend some time alone with him, it's fine…"

Olivia shook her head, "Actually, I could do with going into work for a few hours…but, well…are you busy tonight?"

"I said this evening would be okay…" Barba confirmed.

"No, I just meant could you take him for a couple of hours this afternoon and then maybe bring him back to mine and stay for dinner? I would still like to talk after Noah has gone to bed. To be honest, I'm starting to feel like my son is trying to appropriate my friend...and he has plenty of his _own_ at preschool."

Barba was silent for a second and then replied softly, "That sounds nice."

Olivia waved at Noah and called him over. When he arrived Olivia knelt down to his level. "I know that I promised we would spend the day together, but how would you feel about spending a couple of hours with Uncle Rafa this afternoon? Then you can both come back to ours for your dinner..."

Noah grinned, "I would like that!"

"You're a hit with my kid, Rafael. It's funny…because in my experience a lot of people take a while to warm up to you."

"Ha-ha," Barba replied sarcastically.

"We're not far away, shall I bring him to you? Then I can go on to work…" Olivia suggested.

"Are you sure you don't mind? Someone at work could see you…" Barba pointed out.

"What is with your obsession with not wanting to be seen hanging out with children, Rafael? Scared that the big bad lawyers might realise that you're secretly a softy? Because most of them actually have children of their own you know…"

She heard Barba sigh. "No, I just thought it might look…" he paused and then concluded, "I'm being stupid, just bring him in."

"You're worried that my dropping Noah off to you in the middle of the afternoon might lead to rumours about why?" Olivia probed.

There was silence.

"Since when do you care about what people think?" Olivia pushed.

"I care about what _some_ people think…" Barba observed.

"Rafael, are you happy for me to bring Noah to you? Or would you like to meet us somewhere else?" Olivia asked.

"Here is good," Barba said decisively - hating that he was allowing the last couple of days to make him feel so unsure about…everything.

* * *

When Olivia and Noah stepped out of the elevator on Barba's floor, they walked straight into a very frustrated looking John Buchanan.

"Lieutenant," Buchanan nodded at her courteously as he made to walk past them and into the car. Then he double-took when he saw the little boy next to her. "Hey, isn't that Barba's nephew?"

Olivia looked at Noah, who was staring at the big man suspiciously.

"No…this is my son, Noah. Noah, did you get the chance to meet Mr Buchanan properly yesterday?" She lifted him up and held him close, knowing that he had felt uncomfortable around the man yesterday.

Buchanan looked shocked and was clearly trying to process this new information. "I didn't realise you and Barba were so… _close,"_ he smirked a little.

"Uncle Rafa is my momma's special friend. Isn't that right, Momma?" Noah explained, still looking at the man uncertainly.

Olivia smiled, she was aware of how bad that sounded and rushed to explain. "ADA Barba is a very good friend. Noah had an accident at school yesterday and as I was at Rikers doing some interviews he was kind enough to pick him up for me…" She explained smoothly. "Noah seems to have taken quite a shine to him."

Buchanan was looking at them very closely, clearly processing.

"Uncle Rafa is the best," Noah agreed happily.

"Well, I should…" Buchanan pointed to the door he was holding open.

Olivia put Noah to the floor and pointed down the corridor. "You know where to find, Uncle Rafa?"

Noah nodded, "I was here _yesterday,_ Momma!" He grinned.

"Good boy. Now, you run ahead and I'll be there in a minute!" Olivia said and nodded towards the door.

The boys smiled happily and ran off.

"I appreciate that you have a job to do, Buchanan, but you scared my boy yesterday. In future, I would appreciate you controlling your temper when talking to the ADA when he's with my son," Olivia said firmly.

"So this is going to be a regular thing now? Bring the kids to work? ADA Day-care? This is a place of law, Lieutenant Benson. Not a crèche," Buchanan observed gruffly.

"Of course not. These are unusual circumstances; you can see that my child is injured. You may never meet my son again; I'm just asking that if you do – either in the company of ADA Barba or myself – you control your language and your tone of voice. Do we understand each other?"

Buchanan nodded sharply as the door closed - his expression was stony.

* * *

Barba pushed his chair back from his desk and stood.

"We could talk around this issue for the next three hours and still be no further on than we are now, Rita. This unexpected visit has been a _joy_ , but I've given myself a rare afternoon off and I'm afraid that I have plans…" He said pointedly and pulled on his jacket.

Rita Calhoun raised her eyebrows, "Time off and plans? Not two things that often factor into your day, counsellor."

Barba smirked a little and nodded towards the door. "We all have a life, Rita…"

"Oh no, I need to know more. You can't astound me with the knowledge that the great ADA Barba actually has a personal life and then refuse to share details. This can't just be a date, it's too early…" Calhoun crossed her arms and smiled in amusement.

Barba looked frustrated – partly with his guest, and partly with himself for giving Rita just enough information to pique her interest.

Interest grew to amused fascination when seconds later a small boy raced into the office and without even noticing his visitor ran straight over to Barba.

"Uncle Rafa!" Noah hugged his leg and then held his hands up for a lift. "I've missed you! Did you have a good day at work? What are we going to do? Can we go back to the park? When we've been to the park maybe we could go see the penguins? I do like the penguins. Marcus at preschool said that his daddy took him to see the penguins and then they had ice-cream."

Barba held Noah securely and then looked up to see Rita Calhoun staring at them. _It's a miracle,_ he thought with amusement, _it's finally speechless!_

"Maybe we can do that, amigo…but can you see that I have a visitor?" Barba nodded towards Calhoun and Noah looked surprised.

"Hello! Are you Uncle Rafa's friend? Or just someone who he has to work with?"

Calhoun laughed and shook her head at Barba in disbelief, "I…well, I'd like to think I'm maybe a bit of both…"

Noah nodded thoughtfully, "So you're not special friends then?"

Barba cut in quickly, knowing how that must have sounded. "We work together, amigo…" he smiled up at Calhoun, "…as you can see I really do need to go."

Calhoun nodded in wonder, "We really do need to talk..."

Just at that second Olivia walked through. Seeing Rita Calhoun in the office she smiled apologetically at them both and then looked at Barba. "I'm sorry, as you were finishing up for the day I assumed that you would be alone, or I wouldn't have sent him ahead."

"No, no, really this has been fascinating…all of this is," Calhoun waved her hand between them all and grinned, "...absolutely _fascinating."_

"This isn't…" Olivia started to explain; concerned that Barba would be worried.

"Hey, whatever this is, is none of my business. We'll have that drink soon," she smiled pointedly at Barba and then kindly at the child before leaving the room.

"I'm sorry about…" Olivia started.

Barba shook his head dismissively, "It's nothing, she might suspect, but she doesn't know anything…because well, there isn't anything to know…and even if there were…which, of course, there wouldn't be…she wouldn't say anything anyway…" Barba struggled towards the end and Noah was looking at him with wide eyes.

"Uncle Rafa, I'm not sure I understood what you just said," the boy observed.

_"Nobody_ is, sweetheart," Olivia said with obvious amusement.

Barba rolled his eyes, clearly frustrated with himself. Then he shook it off and smiled warmly at Olivia. "Shall I take the keys to your place again? We can head back early, maybe get started on dinner?"

"You don't have to do that…" Olivia said, already reaching for the keys.

"Actually, I thought Noah and I could stop at the store on the way home from the park. Maybe we could make some dinner together..." He looked down at Noah, "What do you think, amigo?"

Noah smiled a nodded excitedly, "We can make you food, Momma!"

Olivia was irritated with herself when she felt her heart flutter at the thought of coming home from work to find her friend and Noah cooking dinner.

Was she being brainwashed by her son?

_TBC..._


	6. Rum–tum-tum-tiddle-um

When Olivia walked around the corner and toward her office Fin looked up at her from his desk with obvious surprise.

"Didn't think we'd see ya today?"

"I'm out of here by five, let's get these interviews sewn up and passed on," Olivia said simply.

Fin shrugged, nodded and then glanced over at Rollins and Carisi before standing to follow his friend through to the office.

"How's Noah?" Rollins asked as they turned to go. "Fin said that he had an accident at preschool - I thought you wanted to take the day?" 

"Noah's doing really well. Just a couple of stitches, but he barely seems to have noticed them. I _did_ want to take the day, but Barba's case settled out of court and I thought it would be worth coming in an getting this sorted. Dodds has been understanding, but I can tell he's getting impatient."

Rollins struggled to see the link, "Barba's case? How is that connected to the Woodhouse interviews."

Olivia shook her head and picked up two files from a nearby desk before looking back at Fin and nodding toward her office. "It isn't. Barba took Noah for a while so that I could come in."

Rollins raised her eyebrows at Carisi and mouthed, _Barba?_

_"_ Our ADA's now covering babysitting duties?" Carisi asked with an amused smile as Olivia turned to follow a smirking Fin into her office.

"I'm almost certain that the offer is exclusive to Noah though, so don't be getting any ideas, Rollins!" She called back as she shut the door.

Rollins smiled over at Carisi, "I think we both know who that offer is really exclusive to..."

He laughed lightly and looked back down at his work.

* * *

Olivia sat behind her desk and Fin pulled up a nearby chair, she opened up one of the files and wordlessly started working. She and Fin were years past pleasantries.

"So…he's with Barba again?" Fin asked without even looking up from his file.

_"Don't start…_ " Olivia said firmly, but there was a flicker of a smile in her eyes when she glanced up at her partner.

"Nah…I think it's nice, Noah and Barba hangin' out. I'm pretty sure I caught that sitcom once on TV…" Fin continued to remain focused on his work but a small smile danced at the corner of his mouth.

_"Fin…"_ Olivia warned again.

She was quiet for a few minutes and then added, "Noah, he seems to…"

Sensing her reticence Fin looked up with a concerned expression. "Everythin' okay?

Olivia shrugged, "Yes…it's just taken me by surprise. Barba has certainly become more comfortable with Noah over the last year or so. I mean, I put him down as his emergency contact at the school and I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't sure that Noah would be okay."

"You added Barba as an emergency contact?" Fin looked understandably surprised.

Olivia nodded, "I just…he's…"

"What's wrong, Liv?" Fin asked in a tone that was simultaneously warm and requested that she cut to the chase.

"Noah is growing really attached," Olivia looked over at her friend seriously, "…more than I expected. Even Rafa is more…" she trailed off.

Fin raised his eyebrows at the intimate name. "And _you_ feel?"

Olivia shrugged and then returned her gaze back down to her work. "I'm not sure… Surprised? Happy? Maybe a little unsettled..."

"Liv?" Fin said firmly.

She looked back up into his eyes. "Honestly? A little scared…" Olivia admitted.

"Scared?" Fin asked with concern, this was not an emotion he often heard his friend admit to, he couldn't even remember the last time.

Olivia glanced at the door, almost as though she was worried that someone might hear her next words, and then spoke quietly.

"A little scared for Noah I guess, although I know he would never willingly hurt my boy…" she sighed and then added reluctantly, "…and I guess maybe even a little scared for myself as well."

Fin nodded thoughtfully, "It's serious then?"

Olivia laughed a little anxiously, "Fin, I'm not even sure what _it_ is."

* * *

Olivia pushed open the door and heard laughter on the other side. Not an uncommon occurrence but something about this evening's laughter sounded warm and beckoning - it sounded like coming home.

She rounded the corner to find Noah sitting on the kitchen counter. He was wearing a child's apron that she had never seen before and had somehow managed to get flour all over himself and his visibly amused sous chef.

"Sucio, amigo!" Barba laughed and dusted some flour out of his hair.

Olivia smiled and walked toward them.

Barba held up his arms and smirked at her. "Sorry about the mess…"

She laughed and shook her head, "What are you making?"

"Pizza!" Noah shouted happily and held a raw base up in front of his face.

"All fresh ingredients, very healthy," Barba assured. Then looked around, "...and very messy."

"I told you, it's fine…it's nice to see you both having fun," her eyes linked with Barba's for several seconds as she smiled and sat in a seat nearby.

Noah looked up and saw his momma and Uncle Rafa looking at each other funny and wondered if this was how you make sunflowers grow.

"Momma, is Uncle Rafa still going to stay for bedtime?" Noah checked.

Barba and Olivia's gaze suddenly broke and he smiled at the little boy and nodded. "Of course, as long as that's okay with your momma..."

"Me and Uncle Rafa are going to have some grown-up chat time after you go to bed…" Olivia replied to her son, although her eyes fleeted back over to her friend.

"Uncle Rafa will read me more stories about the bear and his honey, maybe you could listen too?" Noah suggested, remembering how Rosita had told him all about family storytime.

Olivia smiled back at Noah and nodded, "You know, I think I'd like to hear that!"

Barba groaned at the thought of having a grown-up audience but said nothing and returned to dinner preparation.

"We'll be half an hour if you want to have a shower and wash the day off…" Barba suggested as he reached for the sauce that had been cooling near the burner.

Olivia smiled at his thoughtfulness and nodded, "Actually, I'd really like that. Sure you two are okay?"

Noah grinned, "We're _fine,_ Momma. Uncle Rafa is really good at cooking."

She laughed lightly and then smirked at Barba as she hopped down to the floor, "I consider myself to be superfluous."

"Never," he replied with a warmth that made Olivia's heart skip a beat.

* * *

Olivia would never be sure exactly when she fell in love with Rafael Barba.

With hindsight, she would admit that it probably started as a river at its source with that ridiculous comment when they first met. He was annoying and insufferable...but somehow immediately and completely under her skin.

But she did know when she first wholeheartedly accepted her fate...

She had been sitting on a chair near to the top of her son's bed.

Barba let him crawl up under the covers, then he tucked them right under his chin and made him laugh. She watched the ADA smile at Noah, completely unguardedly, and then glance down at their book.

"So, chapter two?" Barba asked.

"What is it called, Uncle Rafa?"

Barba smiled, "…In which Pooh goes visiting and gets into a tight place!"

Noah laughed, "That's funny!"

"It certainly sounds funny, shall we read and find out?" Barba suggested.

Noah looked over at Olivia, "I think this one is going to be a good one, Momma. Are you listening?"

"I'm _definitely_ listening," Olivia smiled at her son and then at Barba, who looked over at her uncomfortably like he was self-conscious about reading in front of her.

She smiled at him and nodded, then Barba returned his focus to Noah, who was looking at him expectantly.

_"Edward Bear, known to his friends as Winnie-the-Pooh, or Pooh for short, was walking through the forest one day, humming proudly to himself.  
_ _He had made up a little hum that very morning, as he was doing his Stoutness Exercises in front of the glass:  
_ _Tra-la-la, tra-la-la, as he stretched up as high as he could go, and then  
_ _Tra-la-la, tra-la – oh, help! – La, as he tried to reach his toes.  
_ _After breakfast, he had said it over and over to himself until he had learnt it off by heart, and now he was humming it right through, properly."_

Barba looked at Olivia, turned the corner of his mouth up in a half-smile, then continued.

_"_ _It went like this:_ _  
_ _Tra– la-la, tra-la-la,  
_ _Tra– la-la, tra-la-la,  
_ _Rum– tum-tiddle-um-tum.  
_ _Tiddle–iddle, tiddle-iddle,  
_ _Tiddle–iddle, tiddle-iddle,  
_ _Rum–tum-tum-tiddle-um."_

And _then_ Olivia knew.

Sat in her son's bedroom - watching the usually ruthless, witty and sarcastic ADA throw caution to the wind, and then throw himself into reading this book and making her son so happy.

Noah laughed, "Again!"

Barba smiled, "Rum–tum-tiddle-um-tum. Tiddle–iddle, tiddle-iddle."

Noah joined in, "Tiddle–iddle, tiddle-iddle…"

Both Barba and Noah laughed joyfully now, a sound that was so unfamiliar to Olivia that for what seemed like about then millionth time in two days she felt tears well in her eyes.

Then they leaned into each other and both finished, Noah half a second behind Barba as he copied him, **"Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um!"**

In the corner, Olivia Benson covered her tearful grin with her hands...

_She was completely screwed._

_TBC..._


	7. This Isn't Me

_**"….And Christopher Robin and Rabbit and all Rabbit's friends and** _  
_**relations went head-over-heels backwards** _  
_**...and on the top of them came Winnie-the-Pooh – free!** _

_**So, with a nod of thanks to his friends, he went on with his walk through the forest,** _  
_**humming proudly to himself. But, Christopher Robin looked after him lovingly,** _  
_**and said to himself, "Silly old Bear!""** _

Olivia stood and joined Barba next to the bed, she tucked Noah in carefully and kissed his head.

"Goodnight, sweet boy, I'll see you in the morning," she whispered softly.

"Ni-nite, Momma, I love you," Noah smiled sleepily. Then he looked at Barba, "Goodnight, Uncle Rafa - thank you for my story, love you too."

Barba glanced at Olivia and then smiled at Noah, "Love you too, Noah, you sleep well…"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Uncle Rafa?" Noah asked, his eyes already drooping.

Barba glanced at Olivia and shrugged, "Maybe, amigo…"

"I'd like to have breakfast with you every day, Uncle Rafa…" Noah rolled over and snuggled into his pillow, his fingers gripping tightly onto his Ironman.

Olivia looked at Barba and saw his expression of complete panic, then she surprised him even further by slipping her hand into his a tugging him toward the door.

* * *

Once back in the living area she released his hand and shook her head. "He's asleep already, no point getting into that now…"

"I don't know…" Barba sighed. "Maybe this was all a really bad idea?"

"Rafa, don't…" Olivia warned sternly.

"All this isn't me, you know that. I don't do kids, trips to the park, bedtimes…" Barba walked towards his jacket and picked it up.

"Rafa, just because you haven't done something doesn't mean you can't. You can see how much he loves you. I'm not asking you for anything, but don't deny yourself love…especially not from that little boy…" Olivia insisted firmly.

"Maybe I should back off and just give you both some space?" Barba suggested.

"Is that really what you want?" Olivia asked, pain evident in her eyes.

"Want? No, of course not…but I think I'm being selfish here. I thought I'd dealt with all that the other day, but he's…" Barba looked back towards the door and then shook his head sadly.

"He told you that he wants you to be his daddy didn't he?" Olivia asked empathetically.

Barba looked surprised, "He spoke to you as well?"

Olivia laughed in spite of the tense situation, "Imagine my surprise this morning when Noah asked me how to go about making you his daddy…"

"Liv, this is bad. I think I need to take a step back," Barba said firmly and thrust his arms through his jacket.

"I thought you wanted to talk tonight?" She followed him to the door as he opened it.

He paused briefly and looked back, "I think I just need some space, this is all too much."

Then he was gone.

Olivia leaned back against her front door, she closed her eyes and let out a long breath – once again a glimmer of happiness had turned out to be too good to be true.

* * *

Barba sat at the bar and downed his third scotch.

_Fuck it!_

He looked up at the clock on the wall and then glanced over to the door just in time to see his friend arrive.

"I wasn't sure you'd actually call me for that drink, but I'm glad you did," Matt smiled at his old friend then nodded to the barman. He pointed at Barba's scotch and then held up two fingers.

The barman nodded.

"So is this _really_ just a catch-up? It seemed like a bit more on the phone?" The doctor asked.

"You have children, right?" Barba checked.

"You know I do – Issy's five, Charlie's nearly 3," Matt sipped his scotch.

"You started late…" Barba noted.

"Well, you know what it's like, careers get in the way. Claire is about ten years younger than I am though, so…" He looked at Barba's dark expression - it was one that he recognised came from a combination of self-doubt, stubborn independence and past scars. "This is about Noah, isn't it?"

Barba sighed and drank.

"And maybe his mother as well?" Matt added.

"I don't think…" Barba coughed and tried again. "You know I'm not good with kids."

Matt laughed, "All evidence to the contrary, that boy clearly adores you."

Barba looked at him and shrugged, "He was hurt and looking for comfort…I could have been anyone."

"You can't possibly be that naïve, Rafael," Matt shook his head with frustration.

Barba frowned.

"I treat children who are ill all the time. Some who have just banged their heads like little Noah…others who are more badly injured or sick…" Matt paused and waited for his friend to look up at him, "…and some who have to come to terms with the fact that they are too poorly and…"

Barba shook his head sadly and closed his eyes.

"What I'm saying to you, Rafael, is that I _know_ sick kids. When they're sick they don't just grab onto the nearest adult available, they reach out for someone they love…and someone they _trust."_

"He said that he wants me to be his daddy," Barba looked up at his friend and shrugged. "Can you believe he said that?"

"Based on his body language yesterday? Yes, I can…"

"I'm not father material, I thought I was passed all that. I've got my life sorted, my career…" Barba explained needlessly.

 _"On the bench by 55,"_ Matt parroted the plan he'd heard a million times.

"What's wrong with having a goal?" Barba asked.

"Dreams are for kids out of college, Raf. They're great to give you something to aim towards but I think you're guilty of becoming too focused on long-term goals. Life is what's happening right now, my friend, and you're missing it."

Barba shook his head.

"Okay tell me something. You have to choose right now, either you're on the bar by the time you're 55…or you never see that kid again. What do you choose?" Matt raised his eyebrows.

His friend sat staring at him – completely speechless.

"Okay, let's try another question. What about his mother? I assume she is single?" Matt grinned.

Barba laughed in spite of himself, "Of course she is…"

"So, how do you feel about her?" The doctor probed.

"She's my colleague…" Barba winced and then corrected, "…my partner, my closest friend…she means a lot to me."

"And she's beautiful right?" Matt grinned.

Barba laughed but then conceded, "Matt, you have _no_ idea…"

Matt sipped his drink and smiled, "So let me get this straight - you're on target to achieve all your long-term career goals, you have a little boy who loves you and his stunning mother has clearly found a way to put up with having you around…can we go over exactly why you're looking so damn depressed?"

Barba looked frustrated, "You know it's not that easy…"

"You're not in love with her?" Matt suggested.

Barba was silent.

"She's not in love with you?"

"Of course not," Barba snapped and finished his scotch. He looked at the barman and asked for another.

"I very much doubt that," Matt said kindly.

Barba glared at his friend, "How can you possibly know? You haven't even met her."

"Well, I know _you_ pretty well…" Matt started carefully. "You don't open yourself up to others easily, and you clearly have with Olivia, so that would lead me to assume that she's been pretty open with you…and that's she has taken the time to work past your well-constructed defences."

"Matt…" Barba started to contend.

"Then there's the boy…" Matt continued.

"What does Noah have to do with your _delusions_ about his mother?" Barba asked dryly.

"Kids pick up on things from their parents at that age. They're like sponges. He has obviously bonded to you naturally, but that is going to be rooted in how he sees his mother react to you. The way he sees you interact with her, the things she says about you to him - they are all going to influence how he sees you."

Barba was looking at him thoughtfully now.

"I've seen you with kids, Barba, you were never a natural…so my hunch is that if this kid can see something that others don't then a lot of that is coming from his mother."

"He thinks I'm a superhero," Barba smiled reluctantly as he took another drink. "Apparently, Olivia told him that she catches the bad guys…but that it's my job to make sure that they never hurt anyone again."

Matt grinned broadly, "Ahhh, man… _come on!"_

They sat and drank for a few moments.

"She's not a lawyer then?" Matt asked.

Barba shook his head, looking down into his glass, "Cop…lieutenant...SVU."

Matt's eyes sparked, "Lieutenant? Benton…Ben…"

"Benson. Wait, have you met?" Barba asked with obvious surprise.

"Briefly, a few months back on a child abuse case…" Matt smiled. "You're not wrong, Barba, she _is_ beautiful...and smart…I liked her a lot."

"Out of my league?" Barba smiled self-deprecatingly.

"A handsome, successful lawyer? Yeah sure…" Matt teased and nudged Barba's shoulder.

"Not exactly fighting them off lately," Barba observed.

"I suspect that's because you've been giving off a strong 'taken' vibe…"

"I don't…" Barba shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"You're in love with her, right? You have been for a while?" Matt looked at his friend and saw him nod hesitantly. "And you love her kid?" Another reluctant nod. "And the question I asked earlier - what is more important to you, work or them?"

Barba sighed, "You already know the answer to that question, Matt."

"I want to hear _you_ say it…"

"They're more important, okay! There I said it! So now what, Oh great Love-Yoda? What am I meant to do now?" Barba snapped.

"You got freaked and bailed on her didn't you?" Matt asked.

Barba looked shocked now and that was all the answer his friend needed.

"Well, then I would suggest flowers, a grovelling apology…and then maybe lay your heart at her feet and hope that she is kind enough to grant you mercy."

The ADA looked simultaneously distressed and petrified.

"Okay…maybe for you grand gestures might be pushing it a little too far until you know where you stand. We wouldn't want to give you a coronary…" Matt shook his head a Barba's complete obliviousness, when did he become this hopeless with women? Then he rolled his eyes in recognition of the fact that this one was clearly so difficult because she meant so much.

He smiled at his old college buddy, "Rafael, how about you just go and talk to your friend?"

_TBC..._


	8. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's taken them long enough... 🙄😆

Olivia did some unnecessary paperwork, watched an hour of rolling news and then slowly walked through to get ready for bed.

She showered again...just out of habit...then changed into her pyjamas and was just about to crawl listlessly under the sheets when she heard her mobile phone vibrating in the living area. She considered ignoring it and checking in the morning, but then thoughts of who it might be rushed through her head and she ended up dragging herself back through to locate the phone.

Seeing it lying on the kitchen counter she picked it up and then raised her eyebrows in surprise.

**RAFAEL BARBA  
\- I'm sorry – we need to talk. Are you still awake?**

Olivia stood staring at the text message; the wording would suggest he was nearby. She glanced out of her window, imagining him waiting on the sidewalk outside.

Another buzz.

**RAFAEL BARBA  
** **\- Please, just talk to me**

She sighed, then walked over and flicked the switch on the coffee maker before swiping her phone open and replying.

'Coffee on – make it quick before I change my mind'

Olivia went back into her bedroom, hooked her dressing gown from the back of her door and then turned off the lights before walking back through to the living area. She looked at the time and sighed, 11:45…

Then she looked at the messages on her phone again. At least he wanted to talk…and coming this late must mean that it was important. If he still wanted 'space' surely there would be nothing left to talk about?

There was a light knock on the door, barely loud enough for her to notice if she hadn't been listening out.

_He didn't want to wake Noah,_ she thought with a slight smile.

Olivia walked over and opened the door. He was wearing the same clothes as earlier, but looked a little more dishevelled…she assumed he'd been drinking, but he looked alert.

"Barba," Olivia said and opened the door wider to invite him in.

"Back to Barba are we?" He asked quietly as he passed her in the doorway.

"You were the one who wanted 'space'…" She observed and walked to pour them both a coffee.

"Please, Liv…" He sighed and followed her over toward the kitchen area.

"What do you want me to say? You ran away from my boy earlier...like you were afraid of catching an infection!" Olivia hissed angrily.

"No, Liv," Barba replied firmly.

"So what were you running from then? Responsibility? Obligation? Duty? Because I didn't put any of that on you, Rafael. I'm so grateful for your help yesterday, but you were the one who called and asked to see him this afternoon. You were the one who suggested coming back here and cooking with Noah. This was _all_ on you!"

Barba nodded in agreement and took the coffee Olivia held out for him.

"So, what are you so afraid of? Surely a little boy hasn't got the fearless ADA Barba on the run?" Olivia genuinely didn't know she was this upset, but looking into his golden-green eyes made her realise how much she had been forcing herself to control her emotions.

"What am I afraid of?" Barba asked. He looked toward the windows and then back at his friend. "If I'm going to be 100% honest, and I feel that it's important that I am right now…"

Olivia nodded patiently.

"I think…more than anything...you," Barba concluded.

She wasn't sure what he was going to say but really hadn't been expecting that.

Her mouth fell open a little, "I don't know what to say to that. Wow, that really hurts…" Olivia looked away and then closed her eyes.

"I…" Barba stepped forward and reached for her hand.

She tugged it away and walked over to the couch. He followed her and sat awkwardly at the opposite end, trying to give her space.

"I had a drink with Matt this evening, you know the old friend I asked to see Noah yesterday?"

Olivia looked up at him and nodded.

"We talked about Noah, about you, about what I want out of life…"

"Wow…" Olivia whispered harshly, "…he's got the magic touch of making Rafael Barba open up? Maybe he could write a handbook?"

Barba smiled sardonically, "I don't think the circulation on that one would be high."

"I'd buy it," Olivia said with palpable frustration and sadness.

"God...you don't need it, Liv," Barba insisted firmly.

"Okay, so what were these big life revelations then? Would you like to share them with me?"

"He pointed out that I'm too focused on longterm goals...that I'm missing out on my life…" Barba admitted.

"You're not missing it, Rafa, your life is happening right now. _This is it!"_ Olivia pointed out.

Barba smirked, "I think you and Matt will get on."

Olivia smiled a little in spite of herself when he used the future tense. So he definitely saw her in his future then?

"Liv, this isn't easy for me to say, but I'm just going to do what Matt suggested and put myself out there…"

She looked up at him intently and frowned.

"I think Noah scared me so much because what he suggested, what he said he wanted, was a vision of my life that I'd never even considered…"

"Rafael…" Olivia tried to cut in.

He shook his head, "Just let me get this out, okay?

She nodded silently.

"It was a vision I'd never considered, but it sounded _really_ good," Barba confessed, not yet able to look at her.

Olivia was rapt; she moved forward a little closer to him on the couch. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

"I've rarely imagined myself having those things. I saw career success, accolades…but suddenly I got a vision of what it might be like to have a family to share my life with."

"Noah?" Olivia asked quietly.

Barba shook his head, but then nodded, "I mean, yes, of course, but primarily...you."

Olivia gasped and Barba glanced at her nervously but then looked away again as he ploughed on.

"Matt asked me what mattered most in my life...that was the first time I've realised the whole truth. I've always known I've wanted you, Liv," he looked up and held her gaze now, "but I'm greedy, I don't just want you...I want everything."

Olivia nodded, she felt like one of those ducks at the park – on the outside she knew she seemed calm and together, but underneath the water, she was paddling like hell.

"Fuck," Barba hissed under his breath with irritation. "I'm not saying this right, am I?"

Olivia smirked, "Oh, I think you're better than you think."

He was clearly surprised by her reaction. "Well, you're not running for the hills, so…"

She cut in, "I've been having the same doubts, Rafa. The last couple of days have been…revelatory…" She smiled at him and he nodded. "You know when I knew for sure...when I made my mind up?"

Barba wasn't even sure what she was talking about but he shook his head.

"I think it was around, 'tiddle–iddle, tiddle-iddle…'", she admitted with a smile.

_"What?"_ Barba's eyes widened and he looked completely baffled.

"It's not just about me anymore. I've made mistakes, some since I've had Noah…but I promised myself that I wouldn't make those same mistakes again. I have to put him first now."

"I understand that. Of course I do…"

"I know that now. Watching the great ADA Barba lose all of his front and allow himself to be silly and have fun with my little boy. God, Rafa, that's sexy as hell…" She bit her bottom lip over her smile. "I wasn't sure I'd do this again you know? Not for a while at least…"

"Do what?" Barba asked moving forward and seeing a look in her eyes that made his entire body react.

"The way to this woman's heart just might be through her little boy…" She grinned.

Barba suddenly discovered his motor functions, wrapped his arms around her waist and hauled her against him. As soon as his lips touched hers, Olivia gasped and he deepened the kiss.

Minutes later, desperate exploring and eager hands ended in a breathless separation, their foreheads resting against each other as they tried to catch their breaths.

"You are so beautiful…" Barba whispered against her lips, one hand gliding over her waist and coming to rest on her hip.

"Eres guapo," Olivia smiled and licked her lips, "...but I managed to resist when I only wanted you for myself. Maybe what we already had meant too much for me to risk it...until now."

"Jesus, Liv…" Barba let out a burst of joyful laughter.

"When I watched you reading to my boy...that's when I knew for sure that I was completely in love with you," she kissed his lips chastely and smiled.

"You know I love you right?" Barba checked.

"I do now…" She confirmed. Then added, "Noah has to come first, Rafa. I honestly believe this will work, but if it doesn't you can't just disappear from his life...no matter how much it hurts."

Barba nodded then another thought crossed his mind, "Why did you do it? Put me down as Noah's emergency contact?"

Olivia sat up a little and then looked down at her hands braced on his forearms, "I've always liked your arms, you know? They're strong. I still almost hate to admit it," she smiled up at him with a glimmer of humour in her eyes, "but somehow you make me feel safe...while never making me feel weak. Maybe that's part of why I trust you, I feel like you know me, not a version of me that you've created in your head." She thought back briefly to the other men in her life, all of whom wanted her to be something she wasn't or seemed to be completely oblivious to her needs.

He shook his head, overwhelmed by her words but not really understanding the link to Noah and the preschool. He wrapped his arms around her waist and gave her the time that he knew she needed to explain.

She smiled at the feeling of being wrapped in Barba's embrace and looked into his patient eyes.

"I froze a little when they asked me to fill out the form, not really having 'family' as such. But then the teacher asked who made me feel safe, who I would want at my side if I were in trouble..." she explained softly.

"And you thought of me?"

"I just...I felt safe knowing that if Noah needed something, and I couldn't be there, he might have you to lean on..." Olivia explained. "That just felt right, so I..."

"Chose me." Barba finished, completely overwhelmed at the trust Olivia had in him to take care of the most precious thing in her life.

Olivia leaned her body into his, her hands moved down his torso, under his jacket and then around to run her fingers down his spine. "I choose you...…" She grinned and claimed his mouth again in a searing kiss.

* * *

Half an hour later, Barba found himself looking down at a smiling Olivia Benson. She looked up at him with unmistakable love, her hair spread out on her pillow, her nails stroking the back of his neck and tugging him back down towards her.

"You're absolutely sure about this?" Barba asked seriously.

_"Certain._ This isn't a recent revelation for me, Rafa. I can actually get what I _want_ this time…knowing it will make Noah happy as well. I want you."

Barba leaned back down into their kiss, his tongue thrusting into her mouth and dancing voraciously with hers as his weight pushed eagerly against her body and her legs lifted and wrapped around his thighs. His nerves and insecurities were vanishing in the light of the life-altering reassurance that she wanted this...that she wanted him.

Olivia tugged at his suspenders, pushing them down his arms before blindly pulling at his shirt and hearing a quiet pop. She laughed against his mouth and when he pulled up and looked down he saw her holding a tiny button in her hand with a guilty smile. "Sorry, I bet that was expensive…"

Barba smirked, brushed his lips gently against hers, then took the button and threw it away. She heard the ping of hard plastic hit her wall as he rushed to flick open the other buttons on his shirt, his body braced above her on one arm.

"You can rip my clothes off any time you please, Olivia Benson," he assured with a smirk so sexy that Olivia felt moisture flood her core.

With well-honed teamwork, his shirt was pushed off and undershirt flung across the room. Barba tucked his hand under Olivia's pyjama top and had to cover her mouth with a kiss when she groaned loudly as his hand covered one of her breasts.

"Shhhh…" Barba grinned and kissed her again. "You'll wake Noah," he whispered playfully.

"We need to start sorting out some overnight childcare, I think I need to hear you scream my name," Olivia teased in response.

Barba smiled and kissed down her neck, licking and biting lightly over her sensitive skin. "You said ' _we',_ I kind of love that…" He observed and tucked his hands inside the back of her loose-fitting bottoms to grip her ass firmly.

"Rafa, you feel so fucking good…" She smiled and arched up against his straining cock.

"I think I'm dreaming," Barba laughed breathlessly as he watched Olivia wiggle her hips and push down her pyjama pants.

"If you are, were having the same dream," Olivia kissed along his jaw.

"If my alarm wakes me up it's going out the window," Barba muttered earnestly and started to tug up her top.

They were whispering at the lowest volume possible, fumbling and giggling like teenagers as they worked together to tug layers of clothes off until they were finally completely naked, apart from Barba's boxers.

Olivia rolled them over quickly, straddling his hips and looking down at the tent in his underwear as she smiled like the cat that got the cream and licked her lips.

"We've taken our time getting here…" She leaned down and kissed him, her hand stroking over his length slowly and firmly.

"I'm looking forward to getting in here," he said teasingly, rolling them back over and slipping his hand down to run his fingers along her soaking folds.

Olivia almost growled, she shoved down his boxers and wrapped her hand around his broad solid cock.

Their mouths clashed in messy uncoordinated kisses as Olivia spread her legs and lined him up with her entrance.

He slowly slid inside, their eyes were linked as they both gazed at each other with amazed smiles on their faces.

"Wow…" Barba whispered as he pushed home.

"Yeah..." Olivia closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the emotions of the moment as she felt his lips trace down her throat. She'd never really allowed herself to let go - but now she was so completely filled with the man she loved - a man who loved her and her son.

Maybe she could finally find some peace.

* * *

She lay her head on Barba's chest, a contented smile on her face as she ran her fingertips down his neck before her hand came to rest over his collarbone.

"Estoy loco por ti..." He whispered softly.

Olivia smiled and turned slightly to kiss his warm skin. "Do you want to stay for breakfast with Noah in the morning? No pressure. If you'd rather leave and build up to that slowly we can wait for as long as you need."

"That's up to you, Liv. I made my choice when I came back here. Quiero estar contigo para siempre, both of you…but we go at your pace now and whatever _you_ think is best for Noah," Barba murmured gently, his fingers slowly tracing her back.

Olivia was quiet for up to a minute, she thought about all the sensible reasons why they should wait.

But then hadn't they been 'dating' for years? Wasn't this actually just the final step?

She felt secure and without doubts - work was unknown, but those concerns paled into insignificance compared to the rightness of lying in his arms. They'd work through everything else together, and there wasn't a doubt in her mind about where her future lay.

Then the thought of the joy on Noah's face when he saw the realisation of his wish, confirmed what she already longed to say.

_"Stay."_

_TBC..._


	9. Adventureland

Barba looked over at Olivia sat next to him at the breakfast counter and turned the corner of his mouth up in a small smile.

"Do you want to go and wake Noah? I'll start making him some pancakes. You and pancakes, he'll lose his mind…", Olivia laughed softly and stood to begin cooking.

Barba appeared behind his lover, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed under her ear.

"You make _me_ lose my mind…" he murmured against her skin.

"It might be better if I don't come to court anymore then?" She teased and tilted her neck a little in encouragement.

"I've always coped just fine before," he assured. "You centre me…te quiero no solo por como eres, sino por como soy yo cuando estoy contigo."

Olivia sucked in a sharp breath, "Oh, God…Rafa…" She turned and kissed him gently. "I love you, too…now go and wake that boy before you make me burn his breakfast."

Barba smiled kissed her once and then turned to walk away.

* * *

He opened the darkened room and quietly walked over to slide back the curtains. Then he turned and looked at the little boy sleeping peacefully in his bed. The Ironman toy lay up by his pillow and his teddy had dropped to the floor.

Barba walked over to the bed and picked it up. He combed his fingers gently through Noah's hair and whispered, "Mijo…it's time to wake up. Guess who has pancakes for breakfast?"

Noah's eyes blinked open and adjusted to the light, he frowned and looked at his window in confusion. Then he smiled sleepily and said, "Uncle Rafa, is it still bedtime?"

Barba shook his head, "You've been asleep all night, teddy fell out of bed though…here you go…" he passed him the bear.

"Thank you, Uncle Rafa. You came for breakfast?"

"Actually, I had a sleepover last night…is that okay with you?" He asked.

Noah nodded happily, "I like seeing you all the time."

Barba smiled, trying to keep control of his emotions. "So do you think it would be okay if I had more sleepovers? Maybe I could spend a little more time with you, and your momma?"

Noah nodded, "I'd like that, Uncle Rafa…momma would like that too." He started to climb out of bed. "I can smell my pancakes."

He took hold of Barba's hand and walked him back through to the kitchen area.

Noah smiled happily at Olivia as she turned his pancakes out onto a plate. "Morning, Momma!"

"Good morning to you too, sweetheart…I bet I know a little boy who would like blueberries and honey on his pancakes!"

Noah smiled, "That's me!"

"Rafa, can you lift him up onto his chair and get him some juice out of the refrigerator? The low-sugar one…" Olivia asked as she organised the berries and honey.

Barba smiled and went to work. He knew this wouldn't be a fairy-tale but this all felt so surreal...yet strangely natural.

Noah smiled happily as he watched his momma and Uncle Rafa bring him different elements of his breakfast.

"You know, Momma. I think maybe if Uncle Rafa is going to have sleepovers he could have his own bed…like I do…" He liked the idea of Barba being a more permanent and substantial fixture in their home.

"That's nice, sweet boy, but you know my bed is much bigger than yours…so I'm _very_ happy to share it with Uncle Rafa," Olivia smiled at Barba with amusement.

"So instead of getting his own bed, you are going to give him half of yours?" Noah checked.

Olivia chuckled but then nodded, "Sure, Uncle Rafa can have half of my bed…" she smiled up at her friend, her eyes shining, ", maybe even one of my bedside cupboards…and some of the space in my closet as well…"

Barba smiled at her affectionately.

"That's nice, Momma. Does that mean that you're a special kind of 'special friends' now?"

Barba stepped up, "We are…but we're still going to take things slowly. Is that okay with you?"

Noah nodded, "It seems like sunflowers can take a long time to grow as well."

They ate in comfortable silence for several minutes, all lost in their own thoughts.

Then Noah announced, "Okay, Momma…I'm ready to go to Adventureland now!"

Olivia looked perplexed; "I offered to take you there _yesterday,_ Noah. You didn't want to go."

Noah shook his head and held up his arms for Barba to help him down. "Rosita went to Adventureland with her new daddy. I know Uncle Rafa is not my new daddy yet…but I think this counts."

Olivia dropped down to his level and tried to explain. "Noah, Uncle Rafa and I have work today. Lucy is coming over and…"

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turn to see Barba nod his head to the side, clearly wanting to talk to her. She shrugged and turned back to Noah, "Will you wait here for a couple of minutes while Uncle Rafa and I have a talk?"

Noah looked a little sad but he nodded.

They walked around the corner and Olivia laughed when Barba turned her back to the wall and kissed her. After a few seconds, he pulled away with a grin, "Sorry, I've been dying to do that since your conversation with Noah about our sleeping arrangements."

Olivia laughed and looked back towards where Noah was waiting. "Is that all you wanted?"

"Oh no…I want a lot more…" He smirked and waggled his eyebrows flirtatiously.

"I'm serious!" She laughed.

_"Very…"_ He retorted.

"Rafa!"

"Take the day," he finally gave in and tabled his suggestion.

"Rafa…" she started to protest.

"You're the boss, take the day and I'll call into the office as well."

Olivia looked surprised, "You're actually serious?"

"I'm not too busy at work since that case pleaded out and I know you finished off the Woodhouse stuff yesterday…" He reasoned.

"We shouldn't…" Olivia started to argue.

"We won't give in to every whim, I promise…but this is a special day, and Noah is off preschool until next week. I meant what I said last night, Liv, work is still vital, but I'm ready to put you first."

Olivia smiled, clearly tempted.

"Phone Fin…tell him you're taking the day," Barba enticed and leaned in to kiss her neck.

"What would I even say?" She laughed happily.

Barba shrugged, "Tell him the truth – you've fallen for your grumpy ADA and we're taking your son and running away to Adventureland…whatever the hell that is…it sounds _horrendous_ by the way…"

Olivia laughed, "And get us both sacked?!"

"We're going to disclose, Liv, and personally I'm happy to do that when we get back to work tomorrow…that is if we escape Adventureland with our lives…" He nodded down the hallway towards Noah, "Come on, Liv, you know you want to."

"I'm not telling Fin until we disclose, I don't want him to have to keep secrets." She closed her eyes and shook her head, "You're going to be trouble, I can tell!"

"That's a yes?" Barba asked.

"You'll regret this…I think Adventureland might be even worse than you imagine, I've been dreading it for _weeks!"_ Olivia smiled at him affectionately.

Barba just smirked.

"Noah! Wash time! Brush your teeth! Get dressed! You officially have Uncle Rafa wrapped around your little finger, because we are _all_ going to Adventureland!" Olivia called out happily as she turned and headed back towards the kitchen.

* * *

Eight hours later, Barba held a sleeping Noah in his arms, along with two balloons, a bag of half-eaten cotton candy and a large toy that he suspected might be a distant relation of a horse…or maybe a giraffe…possibly an alien.

Olivia carried all of their jackets and spoke quickly into her mobile phone.

"We'll be there in less than five…I'm in the elevator…." She looked up at Barba and smiled, "...yes, ADA Barba is on his way over as well…"

As she hung up and pocketed her phone he nodded at sleeping Noah and Olivia shrugged, "Rollins…or Carisi…I'll wash up a little first…you just pass him off to someone appropriate and meet me in my office as soon as possible."

"Yes, boss…" He laughed.

"Is this my new _docile_ ADA?" Olivia teased.

Barba looked up at the elevator lights and quickly leaned in to kiss her. "This is called the afterglow, mi amor. Take Noah out of my arms and get me in that office and I'll be back to contradicting every word you say."

Olivia smirked, "Good to hear...'cause it's kinda hot when you get all riled up and passionate about a case."

He grinned and kissed her again quickly before the door opened. "Noted," he said with a straight face.

* * *

Rollins almost fell on her ass in shock at the sight of ADA Barba walking around the corner.

He rushed straight over; then passed her two balloons, a sticky bag, a…hippo(?)…and a sleeping child (which on closer inspection turned out to be Noah). He raised one eyebrow and spoke to her with a completely serious expression, "Not one word, detective."

However, just as he turned and was about to head toward the washrooms to clean up he suddenly spun back around - he glanced up at Rollins, then leaned to gently kiss the child on the forehead. "Te veo pronto, mi poco amigo…" he whispered softly and then rushed off, leaving Rollins standing there with her mouth hanging open.

No sooner had he disappeared but then Olivia rushed around the corner and straight to her side.

"Dodds here yet?"

Rollins didn't speak for a second.

"Amanda! Dodds…is he here?" She repeated.

"Yes…" Rollins looked down at Noah in her arms, still a little in shock. "Your office."

Olivia nodded and dropped a pile of jackets onto her desk. "Favor?"

Rollins nodded.

"Settle Noah somewhere near you in case he wakes. Is Carisi in?"

She nodded again.

"Great, when you see him can you ask him to bring us all coffee? Strong, black. I don't have time to stop and we've had a _really_ long day…"

Olivia kissed Noah's forehead.

Barba suddenly reappeared and Rollins jaw almost hit the floor when Olivia turned, laughed lightly, and picked two pieces of straw out of the ADA's hair.

"You look like you've been rolling around in the hay…" She smiled, glancing over at her office.

Barba rolled his eyes, "Chance would be a fine thing," he grumbled.

Then Rollins could swear blind as they walked away she heard Olivia whisper something about 'getting lucky' tonight.

* * *

Carisi arrived a minute later as Rollins was settling Noah on a couch near her desk.

She looked up at him and smiled, "So, Barba and Benson…that's a thing."

_"Really?"_ He said, both shocked and pleased that they'd finally got their acts together.

"Olivia asked if you could take them a coffee? Barba looked like he needed caffeine more than air…" She smiled.

"Stressed?" He asked, already heading towards the break room.

Rollins grinned, "Actually, he looked happy…"

Carisi looked back and returned her smile.

"So tired," she added with a smirk, "…but _really_ happy."

* * *

"So based purely on your instincts you're suggesting that I just take this to trial? Then when the judge asks where the proof is, I should say what exactly? 'Lieutenant Benson has a good feeling about this'?" Barba stood angrily and walked towards the window.

"I'm saying that you should have a bit of faith in your team, Barba! You know you have enough to get this off the ground – trust that we'll get you what you need by the time it gets to trial!" Olivia raised her voice and stood up behind her desk.

This left Dodds sat between them watching the show like he was in the crowd at a Federer-Djokovic match.

"And if you don't? You'll be sat in the cheap seats while I stand up in court looking like a fucking idiot…then I'll have to turn around and explain to this woman's family why I can't win the case! Estas siendo ridiculo!" Barba returned furiously.

"So what? We leave this guy on the streets? See if he can't rustle up a new victim for us? Maybe leave some evidence that is more acceptable to the high standards of the prosecution?" Olivia seethed.

Barba growled, "Fuck…you know that's not what I mean. Why do you have to be so…?"

Dodds stood now. "Right, right, right…that's enough…let's take this down a few notches. Remember, we're all on the same side here…"

Barba's eyes burned into Liv's - she licked her lips and hers narrowed in reply.

"What do _you_ need, Barba?" Dodds asked the ADA directly.

"Evidence proving that Holden was in the house the night the woman died, that he was at least present at the scene during the attack," Barba said firmly, his eyes still heatedly linked with the lieutenant's glare.

"Benson?" Dodds asked.

"We can get that. By _morning_ at the latest," She assured resolutely.

Dodds nodded and looked back at Barba.

Barba forced his eyes away from Olivia and nodded at Dodds. "Bring him in, the lieutenant is right, we don't want to take any risks with this guy…it's on me."

"And me," Olivia chimed in resolutely.

Dodds nodded and walked for the door, "I'll get Rollins and Carisi to pick him up."

Olivia nodded, "Rollins has my son, can you ask her to drop him in with us…I mean me…before they leave?"

Dodds nodded and slipped out of the door.

* * *

Barba reached back and pulled the blinds as Olivia walked forward.

"I didn't mean what I said about the cheap seats, Cariño..." Barba's mouth quirked up into a half-smile.

Olivia licked slowly along her bottom lip, "And I know you care about the potential victims…" She conceded.

"Least we know nothing much will change at work," Barba smiled as Olivia arrived in front of him and pushed his body against the door.

"We haven't disclosed, so we don't _know_ that yet," Olivia warned, but then smiled when his lips descended onto hers in a deep probing kiss.

They froze moments later when they felt a light knock at the door right behind Barba's head. They both grinned.

"We can't do this at work you know," Olivia whispered against his mouth.

"I know," he replied with a quick chaste kiss as she stepped back, "…we're not even meant to be here though."

Olivia smiled at him over her shoulder as she headed back to her desk. "Technically, we were…we just decided to bunk off."

Barba rolled his eyes and turned to open the door.

Rollins was stood there waiting with Noah.

"Do you want…?" She nodded at the boy, it felt a little weird offering to pass him to Barba.

Barba smiled at her warmly and held out his hands.

As she passed him over Noah stirred a little and blinked his eyes.

Seeing Barba he snuggled closer into his arms. "We'll read more of the bear book tonight, Uncle Rafa?" He said sleepily as his eyes slid closed again.

Rollins smiled at them both, seeing genuine warmth and chemistry she'd not even imagined.

Barba looked at Rollins and smirked a little sheepishly - "I'm introducing him to Winnie-the-Pooh…" he explained quietly.

"An important rite of passage," Rollins agreed. "Well, Carisi and I are gonna head out, so we'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"Sure, Liv's just…I mean we're going soon too…"

"I think it's great, you and Benson. Not that it's any of my business…but you don't have to worry, we won't say a word," Rollins assured.

Barba shook his head, "You don't need to worry either. We're not playing that game and we won't ask you to keep it quiet. We plan on disclosing, probably as early as tomorrow...being called in today was just a little unexpected."

Rollins smiled and looked over his shoulder at Olivia signing some papers at the desk. "So this is serious?"

"Serious as it gets," Barba said firmly.

"Well, night…" She nodded, then she called back, "…night boss."

Olivia held up her hand, "Thanks guys, and any problems…"

"Yeah, we'll call…" She looked back at Barba, "We won't unless it's life and death, you guys relax and enjoy your evening."

Barba nodded and pulled the door closed as the detective walked away.

He moved towards the desk and Olivia glanced up and smiled at them.

"Two minutes and we're out of here," she assured.

Barba nodded, "Take all the time you need, we can stop for takeout on the way home."

"You're coming back to ours then?" Olivia smiled.

He blinked; he hadn't even considered that not going home with them tonight was an option. "I mean, sure…unless you two want some time alone? I didn't mean to assume."

Olivia reached out and ran her hand over the strong arm that was holding her son. "I do want some time alone...with you and my boy…I also can't wait to find out what happens next in Winnie the Pooh."

Barba laughed softly, perched his ass on the side of her desk and watched as she smoothly and quickly finished off her work.

"Even watching you work is hot…" Barba observed flirtatiously.

Olivia looked up and smirked, "You wanna try being me watching you in a courtroom…wow…"

"Really?" Barba grinned.

"Oh…" she mouthed 'hell', "…yeah."

Her phone buzzed.

Olivia looked down at her text, double took and then opened it fully to make sure she was reading correctly.

"What?" Barba asked with concern at her reaction.

She shook her head in wonder, smiled and then held up her phone for him to read...

**DODDS  
** **\- I'm a cop for a reason, Benson. Disclose whenever you're ready. Just know that I have your backs.**

_TBC..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already started the final chapter and I'm bringing back a long-departed VIP for a real family reunion 😊


	10. Our Reality

"I'm starting to feel like doing this on the same weekend as the party was a huge mistake…" Barba acknowledged as he dropped another box of his belongings down on Olivia's bed and looked around to survey the mess.

"Well, we didn't have many choices and I think we've both come to terms with the fact that when it comes to Noah the great ADA Barba is a complete pushover!" Olivia teased.

"Hey!" Barba laughed, ", I'm not a complete pushover."

She smiled, "You're going to be a great daddy, Rafa. I don't doubt that for a second…"

Barba smiled and walked over to walk Olivia up against her closet, he lifted her arms teasingly and held them above her head with one hand as he rested his palm against the bare skin the was revealed at her waist when her shirt rose.

His lips brushed slowly against hers, then moved across her cheek and down her neck.

"Mmmmmm….God, Rafa…don't start anything you know we don't have time to finish…" She smiled and then gasped and craned her head back, arching her whole body against him when his tongue licked up the sweet spot on her neck.

"Someone just convinced Noah that he'd love to go for a birthday sleepover with Aunt Amanda and Jessie tonight…" Barba murmured against her collarbone as he kept Olivia's hands braced over her head.

Olivia gasped, "He didn't want to go, not with you moving in this weekend…"

Barba moved back up and smiled at her, kissing her lips softly. "I told him there would be a lot of boring grown-up stuff to do tonight, but that if he stayed with Aunt 'Manda and came back tomorrow evening we would be all done - then we could spend Sunday evening having some Moving Weekend fun."

Olivia grinned, "So he's going home with Rollins this evening after his party?"

"Mmmmm…" Barba looked around the room. "I'm thinking we could clear all this crap to one side and have some Moving Weekend fun of our own? Leave the work until the morning?"

"I _love_ the way you think, counsellor," Olivia smiled and kissed him eagerly.

"Just love me for my brains then?" Barba teased and pushed up against her.

Olivia laughed, "Your brains…I guess your ass is pretty hot too…"

"My brain and my ass? Nice…" Barba rolled his eyes.

"Your eyes…your…" she arched against him again and he moaned.

"So you're basically after me for my body?" Barba smirked.

"That...and your heart…your endless courage, your loyalty, your perseverance…the way you love our son…" she kissed him again as he freed her arms, then brought her hands to his face and looked at him tearfully. "This makes me feel so safe, Rafa. The three of us together - this unbreakable bond. I've never felt this, even when I was a child…I never even imagined it was possible."

"Mi amor…" Barba whispered softly and kissed along her jaw.

"What are you doing?" Noah asked from the doorway to their bedroom.

Barba let out a sharp laugh and dropped his head to Olivia's shoulder.

"I was just giving Uncle Rafa a welcome home kiss…" Olivia explained to her son as she brought her hand up to Barba's hair.

Barba turned and smiled at Noah, "You ready for your party, mijo?"

Noah smiled and nodded, but then paused, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Noah…what's up?" Barba asked.

Olivia watched with a smile as Noah walked over to Barba and he lifted him up to sit next to him on the bed.

"So next weekend we're all going to meet the judge?" Noah checked.

"That's right…" Barba nodded and glanced up at Olivia with a smile.

"And then when we leave you and Momma with be married?" Noah asked.

"That's right…but even more than that…like we told you the other week, I'm going to be asking the judge for permission to be your daddy…" Barba explained. "That's still okay with you, mijo?"

Noah smiled and nodded, "I chose you."

Barba grinned, "So you did…" He smiled up at Olivia again, whose eyes looked suspiciously moist.

"So…do I have to wait until next week? Or do I need to have that as my birthday present as well? I don't mind giving a present back, even the biggest one with the red bow that I think might be my bike…" Noah explained.

Barba shook his head with confusion, "What do you need, Noah?"

"I want to call you Daddy, I don't want you to be my Uncle Rafa anymore…" Noah pouted a little tearfully. "Do we have to wait for the judge to tell me I'm allowed?"

Olivia rushed to kneel next to the bed when she saw he was upset. "Noah, sweet boy, has this been upsetting you?"

Noah looked between them both with a little frown then focused on Barba. "You are my daddy now? You can't change your mind or…"

Barba rushed to lift Noah up onto his lap and hugged him tightly. "I am your daddy, Noah, that is a fact - it's not something I can or would ever want to change my mind about. I love you and I love your momma…" he smiled up at Olivia, "…next week is just about paperwork. You know all the boring stuff that I do at work? It means that we become a family in the eyes of the law…do you know what that means?"

Noah shook his head against Barba's chest and then looked up at him thoughtfully. "Does it mean that I can call you my daddy now? And _still_ get to keep my new bike?"

Barba laughed, "That's _exactly_ what it means, Noah."

"I'm very pleased, Daddy…because I love you a lot, but I think I'm really going to like my bike as well," Noah said so seriously that nobody knew whether to laugh or cry.

* * *

When they heard a knock at the door Noah smiled and jumped up and down, "As it's my birthday party, do I get to answer the door?"

Barba smiled, "Sure, just ask who it is first and only open the door if it's someone we are expecting, okay?"

Noah smiled, nodded and then ran to the door, "Hello?"

"Hi Noah, it's Uncle Fin…"

Noah looked back at Barba, "We are definitely ex...pectin' Uncle Fin…"

Barba nodded, "So you can open the door…can you reach?"

Noah nodded, stretched up on his toes and unlatched the door. Then he carefully pulled it back to find lots of people waiting to come in. Uncle Fin, with Aunt Amanda, Uncle Sonny and Jessie…lastly he looked up at another man and a lady he wasn't sure about.

He looked back at Barba, "Daddy, I know almost everyone - but I'm not sure…am I allowed to let those people in?"

Barba walked over and knelt down next to his birthday boy - he smiled up at the surprised group, all looking touched by the way Noah had called him daddy.

"Mr Cragen is a _very_ old friend of your momma's, and that is his wife Eileen - they've come to wish you a happy birthday."

Noah smiled at them, "Hello, Mr Cra-Crag…"

"You can call me Uncle Donald if you'd like, Noah," he smiled down at him. "I haven't seen you in a _long_ time, aren't you a big boy?"

Suddenly feeling a little shy, Noah reached his arms up for Barba to lift him as everyone shuffled by and into the apartment.

"Barba…" Cragen smiled at him and nodded. They walked back through to the living area. "I knew I liked you," he added warmly.

"You know my daddy as well?" Noah asked clearly warming to the older man more and more every second.

Cragen nodded, "I worked with your daddy a long time ago, we've all come a _long_ way…" he smiled at Barba.

"Where have we all been?" Noah asked his daddy in confusion.

Barba chuckled and kissed the side of his head.

* * *

An hour later, Cragen walked through to Olivia while she was making some drinks in the kitchen.

"Thanks for inviting us today, it means a lot," he said warmly.

"The last few months have reminded me how important family is. You can walk away from your job, but that shouldn't mean that you have to leave behind everything else," she observed - keeping one eye on Barba, Matt and Carisi playing with Noah, Jessie, Issy and Charlie on the floor.

"He's a good man," Cragen said, following her eye line.

Olivia smiled and nodded, "The best person I've ever known…and that's saying a lot," she smiled at Cragen affectionately. "It's taken me by surprise you know? How much I love him, how much he loves me…"

"I'm so happy for you, Liv…for both of you, and for little Noah too, he obviously thinks the world of his new father," Cragen leaned against the kitchen counter and they both watched the ADA playing on the floor.

Barba looked up and saw them both watching him, clearly talking about him. He smiled awkwardly then focused his attention back on the children.

"I think we're making your boyfriend paranoid," Cragen laughed.

"He's a lawyer, he's in a constant state of paranoia at work. He's fine," Olivia laughed happily. "Besides, he won't be my 'boyfriend' for much longer."

Cragen looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Next weekend. We haven't told anyone yet, but no doubt the rumour mill will leak it soon enough…" Olivia smiled.

"You're…?" Cragen lowered his voice, not wanting the others to overhear.

"We're having a party in the evening, letting everyone know then…but I'm almost sure they all think it's an engagement party. Rafael will have his best man on the day, and of course, his mother is invited…but I wondered if you and Eileen would like to be there?" Olivia asked.

Cragen smiled, "Olivia, I can't tell you how much that means to me… _really."_

"Munch will be back from visiting Amaro out west by then, so it will be good to see everyone together again. Well _almost_ everyone…"

"You haven't heard from Elliot then?" Cragen asked.

Olivia laughed softly and shook her head, "Some sleeping dogs... Actually, I was just thinking how nice it would be to have Nick here next week. The _whole_ family."

Cragen nodded and made a mental note to make that phone call in the morning.

"I can't believe you're actually getting married," Cragen said with a smile.

"I think me from a few years ago would be pretty surprised as well, but here I am with a child…and a family…"

"What changed?" Cragen asked.

"I met him," Olivia nodded at Barba. "We're _so_ alike you know, Rafael and I. We have a lot of the same wounds…and so we had many of the same barriers. Maybe that made him the only one who could break them down. He's petitioning to officially adopt Noah as well…"

"It's wonderful, Olivia, and I'd be honored to be there next week…" Cragen assured.

"Noah can't wait. I'm actually looking forward to it as well..." She smiled at Cragen with a glint in her eyes. "I'm not letting this one get away."

* * *

Later that evening Barba pushed the front door closed and let out a long sigh. "It's official, the party is over!"

Olivia laughed and closed the kitchen cupboard. "It was nice of everyone to help us clean up before they left."

"Rollins said that we would have 'better things to do with our evening'," Barba smiled and walked up to place a hand either side of her on the kitchen counter, blocking her in.

Olivia could feel the heat radiating off him and wrapped her arms around his neck, her face burrowed into his throat and she grinned. "She wasn't wrong…"

"I think I got a version of 'the talk' from Cragen," Barba laughed and combed her hair back with his fingers before sucking lightly on her earlobe.

Olivia gasped and thrust up against him, a smile blooming over her face as her neck dropped back. _"You're…kidding right…?"_ She hissed out, surprised that he had already reduced her to an eager breathless mess.

"You're precious to them, Liv…they won't stand to see me hurt you…" Barba murmured lovingly as his lips descended her throat.

"You, Rafael Barba, are the one man I trust implicitly…" Olivia smiled and then gasped when he moved to start undoing her pants.

"I look forward to proving you right, mi amor," Barba smiled and tilted his head towards the couch. "How often do we get to play outside the bedroom?"

Olivia grinned and nodded then they rushed around like kids and quickly started to remove their clothes.

"Apparently this is the next stage of a relationship," Olivia observed as she pushed down her pants and then fought to kick off her shoes and toe-off her clothing.

Barba was already down to his boxers and looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"When we stop undressing each other an just get down to business…" She grinned.

"As long as we both end up naked, I'm happy," Barba assured. "I'm all for expediting that process occasionally, but don't worry the days of me wanting to enjoy slowly stripping every item of clothing from your body are far from behind us."

"Sit," Olivia ordered, then pulled down his boxers carefully before pushing him back to land on the couch. She pushed down her underwear, then stepped forward, one leg either side of his, and he watched open-mouthed as she slowly began to slip open the little buttons on her shirt.

"Watching…that also has its benefits…" he said and slowly licked his lips.

"Yeah?" She smiled. "How about this?" Olivia bent over as she slipped off her shirt then brought her knees down on either side of his lap.

"R-really good…" His head dropped back with a groan.

She brought her hands to his shoulders and rolled her hips forward as she came to sit in his lap. Her wet core lining up perfectly with his straining cock, her warm fluid flooding over his balls and his length pushing against her clit.

"Fuck, you feel good…" Olivia moaned.

Barba let out a breath and rolled back his eyes as he opened them, his head swimming a little. "Off…" he muttered and stretched up to grab the material of her bra between his teeth.

She quickly reached back and unhooked, shrugging her shoulders to let the material drop away.

His hands came up to knead her breasts firmly and her head dropped back in pleasure. His lips encircled one taut nipple eagerly and sucked before flicking his tongue and then scraping it lightly with his teeth.

Olivia pushed down against him gasping loudly and feeling moisture flood between them.

"Marry me…" Barba groaned and smiled against her breast, his teeth nipping her nub lightly again.

Olivia laughed breathlessly, her hands braced on his shoulders. "Oh…okay…" she gasped when his hands gripped her ass, "…if I must."

He smiled, "I _really_ fucking love you…"

Olivia pulled up and then suddenly sank down onto him, closing her eyes with pleasure as he filled her up. "How is this always so good?" She smiled and kissed his open mouth.

"No…doubting it…" he hissed out as he adjusted and thrust up against her, "…we have _chemistry."_

* * *

Three hours later, Barba fell back onto the bed breathlessly, his mouth open and eyes wide. "Cariño, you're going to kill me…"

"But what a way to go," Olivia smiled and fell against his warm damp body, her lips landing just below his clavicle.

Barba looked down at her with a half-smirk and then leaned to kiss her forehead.

"I can think of worse, let's try and give it a few decades first though, hey?"

"Deal," Olivia smiled and nuzzled into his warmth, her legs tangling with his. "We have so much to look forward to…"

"Noah's first day in high school…"

"First day at college…"

"Hopefully somewhere local," Barba added.

"Wherever he wants," Olivia smiled.

"Sure…" He rolled his eyes.

"Your first day on the bench…" Olivia suggested.

"Your first day as POTUS," he continued.

She laughed and pinched his side, "Don't be absurd…"

"Well, look who we have now, I'm trying to think _positively_ about the future here…" Barba pulled her closer and breathed in the scent of her hair.

"We'll have a great future, _Barba..._ together…" She grinned.

He looked down at her and laughed; "You haven't called me that for months, not even at work."

Olivia grinned, "I was just thinking…we've come a long way. You came into my life at just the right time, you know?"

"As did you, you woke me up…you believed in me from the start and pushed me to be the best version of myself," he whispered tenderly.

"As did you," Olivia confirmed.

"All because Noah fell off a slide..." Barba chuckled.

Olivia shook her head, "We were already heading here, that just gave us the push we needed at the right time."

"And if we hadn't had that push?" Barba asked. "We could still be dancing around this..."

"I believe we'd still be here," Olivia said firmly, "the alternative is unimaginable."

"Well, if there's an alternative reality out there where I'm not Noah's daddy and you're not lying naked in my arms then I don't even want to know about it," Barba smiled and closed his eyes sleepily.

Olivia felt a funny little shudder down her spine at the thought...then smiled and pushed the feeling away.

This was her reality now - it was time to relax and enjoy her family.

**_THE END_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished! Thank you to everyone for leaving such nice comments as I venture into writing fanfic in a new fandom. It makes me slightly less nervous. Also, comments always motivate me to write faster 😆
> 
> I must be hooked because I'm already considering my next story. I'm thinking about bringing Elliot back - maybe a whole story of Olivia seeing Barba and Stabler side by side could be fun to write.


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